


Can't help falling in love with you

by Dragonheart07



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/M, Kissing, Light Angst, Masturbation, Mild Language, Minor Character Death, Mutual Pining, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2019-08-06
Packaged: 2020-07-27 20:56:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 23,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20052418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dragonheart07/pseuds/Dragonheart07
Summary: The reader and Bucky becomes fast friends as Bucky Barnes returns from Wakanda. She develops feelings for Bucky. The situation is complicated when Bucky starts dating another woman. The story happens post-Civil War.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever fanfiction. Kudos, comments, criticisms - all are welcome. Love you, all..!!!

Chapter 1  
It was 6’O clock in the morning and you were up. You usually got up early in the morning to savour the silence of the tower. Also you loved having your breakfast alone. You smiled as you heard the light snores from the nearby rooms. You reached the kitchen and opened the windows. It was a beautiful morning. The day was breaking slowly and the air was slightly chilly. There were bird songs and the light scent of flowers in the air. You set about making an omelette, humming a song. You were whisking the egg when you were startled by a voice.  
“Are you making breakfast?”  
You gasped out loud and the bowl almost slipped out from your hands. You turned around to see James Buchanan Barnes seated at the island counter with a coffee cup. He was probably sitting there before you even came in. Steve had brought him back from Wakanda two weeks ago and he had spent most of his time inside his room. You had heard that Shuri had helped him out of his brainwashing; but, you suspected that with what happened to him he would never be the person he was. You had never come face to face with him and you were kind of surprised that he was very handsome in person. But, you were also kind of annoyed that he had startled you like that. You were expecting to have the kitchen all for yourself and now you had to deal with a person. But, you didn’t know the guy; so, you decided to be polite. Plus he was like a hundred years old.  
“Yes, I am. Do you want some, Mr Barnes?” you asked politely.  
“I will toast the bread,” said Barnes getting up from his seat.  
“Ok,” you said, shrugging. Yeah, he sure was joining you for breakfast.  
“You can call me Bucky,” he said as he pulled the bread packet out of the shelf. You could see the dark circles around his tired eyes as he came closer now.  
You nodded, smiling.  
“Y/N is it?” he asked.  
“Yes. Y/N Y/L/N.”  
You both worked in silence after that and you were thankful for that. But, you felt you should talk to him. The guy was holed up in his room for two weeks. You made up a hundred questions in your head and discarded each one. You were really bad at stuff like this. You didn’t know what he was like. You did not want to ask something that would upset or offend him. Poor guy had been through a lot already. When you sat down for breakfast, he was the one to break the silence.  
“How long have you been here?”  
“Five- six years.”  
“So…do you have a super power or something?” he asked, smiling gently.  
You couldn’t help thinking that he looked so pure smiling like that and whatever little anger you had for him hijacking your morning dissipated away.  
“No super powers per se. Just trained in martial arts and combat. I used to be a SHIELD agent before Tony recruited me.”  
“Alright...You always get up this early?”  
“Yeah. I like having the place all for myself in the morning. What about you? Couldn’t sleep?”  
“I haven’t been able to sleep properly since I came back from Wakanda. Maybe because this is a new place. Thought I would come down and have a coffee today.”  
“How was Wakanda? Is it as beautiful as people say?” you asked.  
Conversation flowed easily between you two. Bucky kept practically gushing about Wakanda. You could see that he totally missed that place. He then asked about your family and your work. You managed to slide past the questions about your family and filled him in on what you had been doing for SHIELD and now for the Avengers. You had been talking for so long you didn’t notice what time it was until Nat showed up with Steve.  
“Hey Buck. Y/N,” Steve said, slightly surprised, probably because he saw Bucky in the kitchen. Nat smiled widely at you and reached for the little piece of bread left in your plate.  
“Hey Steve. Headed for the gym?” asked Bucky.  
“Yea. You wanna come?”  
“Not today. You go on.”  
“What about you, Y/N?” asked Nat, as she took out a bottle of water from the fridge.  
“No. Got some work.”  
As Nat and Steve left for the gym, you got up. It was around 8’o clock. Your interns would be here soon.  
“So what are you up to today?” you asked Bucky, as you washed the plates. Bucky stood ready with a towel to help dry them.  
“Nothing. I have just been reading this book. I think I will finish it and then try to get some sleep.”  
“You want to join me?” you asked.  
You could say he was a bit surprised by your question.  
“Not today. I have some stuff…to figure out,” he said with a smile that did not quite reach his eyes.  
“Ok. See you later then, Bucky.”  
You parted ways with him and made your way to your office, slightly elated and surprised by your meeting with the mysterious Mr Barnes. You were never comfortable with strangers. But he had a way of putting you at ease. Bucky was nothing like you thought he would be. You didn’t exactly know what you expected- may be a little moody, angry, serious. But, he was funny and easy to talk to. It wasn’t so bad to have company in the morning, after all.  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky joins the team for a game night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not a native English speaker. So please forgive any mistakes.

Bucky felt pretty happy that he had dragged his ass down for coffee that morning. He had not seen a living soul in the past two weeks other than Steve Rogers. Steve brought him food every day and had tried to get him out of his room a few times. But, he was not quite ready then. Today morning when he woke up from a nightmare all he could think of was getting a cup of coffee.  
He was silently drinking his coffee in the kitchen when Y/N had showed up. He remembered her from his first day at the tower. She was oblivious to his presence and was humming and cracking eggs into a bowl. Bucky was hungry as he had barely touched his dinner the previous night. He kind of scared her when he spoke to her at first. He wanted to apologise but, then she had invited him for breakfast and the conversation flowed in a different direction. What he had assumed would be a Herculean task (which is talking to people other than Steve Rogers or the Wakandians) did not seem that difficult now.  
When he reached his room, he jumped onto his bed and picked up the book he had been reading. He dozed off in between and was woken up by Steve’s sharp knocks at noon.  
“Hey Buck,” said Steve smiling as Bucky opened the door. “I brought lunch.”  
“Steve, I have told you. You don’t have to do this. I will come down and eat when I am hungry.”  
“You know what? I think I am gonna stop bringing you food. Had breakfast in the kitchen today, didn’t we?”  
Bucky just smiled.  
“Seriously though, Buck, you don’t have to come down unless you feel ready. I know I have asked you to join the team several times. But, you take your time. There’s no rush.”  
“I think I am ready, Steve. It’s been so long without normal human beings.”  
True that he had made friends in Wakanda, but, he barely knew anyone here.  
“Uh-oh! If you are expecting normal human beings in the tower, you are in for disappointment,” said Steve, laughing.  
Bucky laughed with him, taking a bite of the sandwich Steve had brought.  
“Hey, tonight is game night. You should come. It’ll be fun,” said Steve.  
“What games do you play? I might not be, you know, up to date,” Bucky looked doubtful.  
“Like Pictionary or dumb charades or 20 questions. All of them are pretty simple. You can just watch if you don’t want to join in. No pressure,” Steve said, giving him a reassuring smile.  
“Ok. I will be there.”  
“See you at 8 then.”  
After Steve left, Bucky decided to take a shower. He was meeting new people today. He felt a bit nervous, but, also a little bit excited. Then he remembered that Tony Stark might be there. Steve had said Tony was ok with Bucky now, but, still it might be awkward. He heaved a sigh as he turned on the shower.  
.............................................................................................................................................................................................................................. Bucky made his way to the living room at five minutes to eight. When he reached the room, it was already filled with people. Nat was sitting on Steve’s lap, both of them sipping a drink. Clint was seated next to them observing the room silently. Sam, Rhodey and the Parker kid were huddled on the couch having an animated discussion. Vision and Wanda were by the window side talking softly. Dr. Banner and Thor were laughing aloud at something on the doctor’s cell phone. Then there was some guy with greasy hair seated next to Y/N. Y/N was playfully punching the guy when she noticed Bucky at the door.  
“Hey, Mr. Ba…Bucky!” she waved at him to come in.  
“Hey, Buck. You are here,” Steve said excitedly. He almost forgot Nat was sitting on his lap as he got up to greet Bucky.  
Bucky said hi to everyone and took a seat on the couch.  
“Hey, Mr Barnes. Can I ask you something?” asked Parker.  
“It’s Bucky.”  
“Ok. Mr Bucky, can I ask something?”  
“Just Bucky, kid! What is it?” Bucky asked rolling his eyes. This kid was getting on his nerves.  
“Can I .. can I have a closer look at your metal arm?”  
“No,” said Bucky, staring straight ahead.  
“C’mon man. Let the kid see your cool arm,” said Sam.  
“No, no. It’s ok. I don’t want to if he doesn’t want me to-” began Parker.  
“Hey fellas!”  
Their conversation was interrupted by a cheerful voice from the doorway. Tony Stark walked in, his arms outstretched and a wide grin on his face.  
“It’s 8. Haven’t you even split the teams yet, Y/N?” he asked as he poured himself a drink. His eyes swept across the room. They lingered a while on Bucky. Bucky looked away, pretending to be interested in the couch’s arm rest.  
“I split the teams a week back, Tony! Don’t you dare question my efficiency,” said Y/N jumping up from her seat, flashing a piece of paper in front of Tony.  
“So we are playing dumb charades tonight. Team Thor’s members are Thor, Clint, Nat, Wanda, Tony, Sam and Peter and Team Loki has Loki, Rhodey, Steve, Banner, Vision and me. We’ll take Bucky too. I didn’t know he was coming and anyway we are one member short,” Y/N said, flashing a smile at Bucky.  
“I won’t be of much use,” said Bucky, shrugging.  
“That’s ok. You will cancel out Sam.”, said the greasy haired guy, whose name Bucky presumed to be Loki.  
Sam threw a pillow at Loki. He caught it neatly and flashed a pearly white smile at Sam.  
“Why in the hell are the teams named after Thor and Loki?” asked Tony, taking the piece of paper from Y/N.  
“Team Douchebags and team Assholes were the alternatives provided by your esteemed group of earth’s defenders,” said Y/N, frowning at the rest of the group.  
“Why should the teams even have names, Y/N? You are taking this too far,” groaned Nat.  
“Because-” Y/N started but, was cut short by Tony.  
“Ohhhkkkk. Let the games begin then,” said Tony.  
After everyone settled with their team members on either side of the room, Y/N brought in a bowl with several bits of folded papers.  
“Just so you know, all these were prepared by Pepper when she came by last Sunday. DO NOT ACCUSE ME OF CHEATING!” said Y/N as she placed the bowl on the table.  
“What? When does she do these things? And your obsessive dedication to these game nights are kind of becoming a concern, Y/N,” said Tony.  
“Ok. Who wants to go first?” said Y/N ignoring Tony.  
Once they started playing Bucky began to relax. It was actually fun. Phrases, books, movie names, actors- all were included in the game. And Loki was true- Sam was so bad at this. Parker and Y/N were the top players. They were totally slaying it. Y/N also made sure that he did not feel left out. She encouraged him to take guesses and hugged him or hi-fived him when he got it right. Bucky was actually surprised how much the split second body contacts with another person warmed his heart. He was taking a swig from his beer when Y/N asked.  
“Do you wanna try?”  
Bucky had just sat in the background, not attempting to act out the clues. He did not want so many eyes on him. But, with the alcohol and the laughter around having calmed down his nerves, he thought he might give it a try. It was not so hard. He nodded. As their team’s turn came, Bucky walked up to pick the clue. His participation was met with a hell lot of cheers from both teams with, of course, Steve in the lead. He opened the tiny piece of paper. “To be or not to be” was the word written on it. Bucky acted it out with 2s and bees and Y/N guessed it soon enough.  
After about two-three hours of charading, everyone got tired and the game was called off for the night. Bucky wanted to get a moment alone with Tony Stark. He waited for the people to leave. As he saw Tony moving towards the kitchen counter, Bucky followed him. Tony opened the fridge and took a bottle of water out. His eyes widened when he saw Bucky standing there with him.  
“Mr Stark, I…” Bucky began.  
“You don’t have to say anything, Barnes. I have moved on. Why don’t you too?” he said smiling, already knowing what Bucky was about to say.  
“It may be in the past, but, I am deeply sorry for what I did to you. I wish I could take it back. There isn’t a day I wish that the fall had killed me,” said Bucky. He was struggling to keep his voice straight. No amount of apologies would change the things that he had done.  
“Hey! Don’t do that to yourself. I was shocked when I first found out. And I am sorry too for acting out like that in Siberia. Let’s move past it. You are Steve’s friend and he trusts you. That’s good enough for me. Plus I wouldn’t let you stay here if I was not over it,” Tony said with a wink.  
Bucky smiled with his lips pursed.  
“Thank you, Mr Stark,” he said.  
“Good night, Barnes. And it’s Tony,” said Tony, as he made his way out.  
“Good night, Tony.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedbacks are welcome!!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and the reader gets close.

In the past two weeks, it had become sort of a routine for you to have breakfast with Bucky. Sometimes you two went for a run too before breakfast. Bucky had started going for therapy and he was spending lesser time in his room. Steve had started involving him in small missions and he had made friends with the other members of the team as well. You and Bucky had struck a chord with each other and it was almost difficult now to see the one without the other. Nat had started teasing you, but, you didn’t give it much heed.  
One such day, you two were returning from a morning jog. Loki was in the kitchen when you and Bucky reached the tower. Loki did not usually stay in the tower and like Thor, he came and went as he pleased. You were really close to him, though Steve did not trust him much. Loki had wronged in the past, but, he was not that person anymore.  
“What’s up, Loki?” you asked.  
“I am hungry and I am making breakfast. Do you want some?”  
“I am hungry too. Count me in. You, Bucky?”  
“I want to take a shower. I will eat later,” Bucky said, as he sat down at the island counter with a bottle of water.  
“We haven’t been properly introduced, I guess. Loki Odinson, Thor’s brother,” Loki said, extending his hand towards Bucky.  
“Bucky Barnes. I saw you on the game night,” Bucky said, shaking Loki’s hand.  
“Yeah. That boring affair that Y/N forces me to participate in. She can be quite bossy.”  
You rolled your eyes at him. But, Loki was intently looking at Bucky, like he was trying to read him.  
“The pain and the guilt will eat you from within, Barnes. This façade won’t help you. You need to find a way to deal with it,” Loki said, staring deep into Bucky’s eyes.  
Bucky looked stunned. He turned towards you.  
“Loki, what has Tony said about doing that in the tower?” you asked, giving a slap across Loki’s chest.  
“What? I am just trying to help,” Loki said, throwing his arms in the air dramatically. He moved away from Bucky towards the toaster.  
“That’s not of much help, Loki,” you called after him.  
“Don’t mind him. That’s the thing he does. Reading your mind and creepy stuff like that,” you said, sitting down with Bucky.  
“In Odin’s name, I am the God of Mischief, Y/N! Do not demean me by calling it creepy,” Loki yelled.  
“But, it IS creepy, my Lord!” you said laughing.  
Bucky smiled. But, you could see that he was somewhere else now. You wished you could do something to ease his pain. You realised just then that within a very short span of time you had come to care deeply about this man. You knew he was going for therapy and he seemed to be doing well. But, you also knew that it’d take a long time for him to reconcile with his past.  
“I am gonna take a shower,” Bucky said, getting up.  
He bid good bye to the both of you and left. Loki brought you breakfast shortly and your mind drifted off to other things. But, you had something planned for Bucky.

You were walking back to your room after breakfast, when you heard some unusual sound from a room in the quarters, like someone was choking. You zeroed in on Bucky’s room. Oh God! It was Bucky!  
“Bucky, are you alright?” you called him, knocking continuously in panic.  
When no reply came, you decided you were going in.  
“Bucky, I am coming in.”  
You took a few steps back, and smashed hard against the door. It opened on your third try. Bucky sat on the floor, breathing heavily. It looked like he had just come out of the shower, clad only in a towel.  
“Buck, it’s ok. You are here. Breathe with me, Buck. Come on.”  
You held him in your arms and took deep breaths and urged him to do the same. He looked into your eyes, vulnerable and scared. His breathing was ragged and irregular. He slowly tried falling in rhythm with your breathing. You hoped your panic was not showing in your eyes. Slowly, he started calming down. You moved closer to him and hugged him tightly.  
“I am sorry you had to see that,” Bucky said after a while. He lifted his head up, breaking away from you.  
“It’s ok, Buck. I have been through this as well.”  
Bucky looked at you questioningly, but, didn’t say anything. He nodded.  
“Was it because of Loki? If it was, in Odin’s name, I am going to kill him!” you said.  
“No. I don’t think so. It just…happens,” he said, slowly getting up. You realised just then that he was not dressed.  
“I will leave. Sorry,” Suddenly you felt like you were intruding his privacy.  
“You don’t have to say sorry. Thank you, Y/N, for…for this,” he said.  
“Hey, listen. If you want to talk about anything, I am here, ok,” you said.  
He nodded, a small smile forming at his lips. You decided to leave him alone.  
“Y/N,” he called as you reached the door. “Can I work with you today? I am kind of free,” he asked, unexpectedly.  
“Sure thing. My interns will be thrilled to meet you,” you said, happy that he was joining you.  
“Thanks again, Y/N,”  
You nodded and left the room. Seeing him so vulnerable had kick started something in you, like you wanted to protect him at all costs(not that he needed your protection, but still).You wanted to hunt down all the people who ever caused him any kind of pain. You felt angry for what he had to go through, angry that nothing could be done to change any of that. The only thing you could do was to be there for him and you swore that you would be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feed backs are welcome..:)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader has a surprise for Bucky.

“You can open your eyes now,” Y/N said.  
She had dragged Bucky from the library to the hall, saying she had a surprise for him. Bucky hated surprises, but, he had humoured her by agreeing to go down to the hall with his eyes closed. The only reason he agreed to do this was because it was Y/N. He trusted her; so, whatever this surprise was, it won’t be a bad one.  
He did not know what he expected but, the sight before him was not at all it. There was a basket in the centre of the hall which held two retriever puppies. Wanda was sitting down with the basket to make sure the puppies stayed in it. She dramatically mouthed “surprise” with her arms in the air as Bucky opened his eyes.  
Bucky didn’t know what to say. Were these for him? Was he supposed to take care of these little babies now? He had never had a pet other than two or three hens his mother had had in his childhood. He did not have any idea what to do with these puppies.   
“So?” Y/N asked, her voice apprehensive. He was scaring her with his silence.  
“Umm...Thanks... Thanks, Y/N. Thanks a lot,” he said as he sat down to pet the puppies.  
“Don’t you like them? You don’t seem very happy,” Y/N said.   
He could see that Y/N was totally disappointed by his response. She looked like a hurt puppy herself. He felt guilty.  
“Of course, I like them, Y/N. Who doesn’t love puppies? It’s just that I have never had a pet. I don’t know how to take care of them.”  
“Is that the problem? Don’t you worry about it. We’ll help you,” said Wanda.   
Y/N nodded aggressively in agreement. Bucky couldn’t help thinking how adorable she looked right then. He was distracted when one of the puppies climbed onto his lap. He took it in his hands and it started licking his palms.  
“Do you want to name them? They are both males,” Y/N said as she too sat down on the floor.  
“Hmm…I’ll think about it,” Bucky said.  
Y/N had already arranged homes for them in an unused part of the tower. There were two kennels and a patch of grass lawn for the puppies to play. She had also hauled in all kinds of toys imaginable as well as enough dog feeds for a month. Bucky felt kind of overwhelmed at how much thought Y/N had put into it. They spent some more time with the puppies before it was time for dinner.   
“Y/N, thank you. Really,” Bucky said as they walked back to the main tower.   
“No problem,” she said, smiling.

Bucky named the puppies Milo and Rusty. He had fallen head over heels in love with the two that he could not wait to spend time with them. Now that Steve felt like Bucky was starting to feel like part of the team, he had started giving him more responsibilities. He could never say no to Steve, but, he wished he could spend all day with his puppies. They adored him back too. He was smothered with licks and cuddles whenever he went to see them. He felt more alive than he had done in a long time, being loved by these beautiful animals. Y/N and Wanda had helped him in the beginning with the feeding and training. Now that he got a hang of it, they left him alone.   
He had never taken them outside. Mostly they played and walked inside the tower itself. Now they were like four months old and he thought he would take them for a walk.  
“Wanna come walk the puppies?” he asked Y/N as he met her on the way outside, with the puppies on a leash.  
“I’d love to,” Y/N said enthusiastically.  
Bucky handed over Milo to Y/N. The dogs were happy to be outside in the sunlit streets. They were walking relaxedly when the clouds started gathering in the sky.  
“Oh God! Is it going to rain? It was such a sunny day!” groaned Y/N.  
“Do you think we should go back?” asked Bucky.  
Bucky had not even finished that sentence when it started pouring heavily. They ran for cover to a nearby store, though they were completely drenched by then. For some reason, Y/N couldn’t stop laughing. Bucky watched her amusedly for a while before he started to laugh too. They stood watching the rain in silence. The dogs settled on the floor, growling mildly, not as amused as their humans. Bucky thought he saw Y/N staring at him and when he looked at her, she looked away. It was barely there and Bucky couldn’t be sure. Anyway, it did not matter. He stared into the white sheet of rain as he lost himself in his thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted Bucky to have a dog...they might not show up in future chapters...Feedbacks are welcome:)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader realises she is attracted to Bucky

It had been so long since you had been so thoroughly drenched in a rain. When you two ran and took cover in the store, you could not stop laughing. It was exhilarating to be in the rain. Then Bucky started laughing too and he looked so adorable. He was fully wet and his white t-shirt clung to him, his well-defined body no longer obscure. He ran his hands through his wet hair and bit his red lips as he stood watching the rain with a twinkle in his eyes. He looked so handsome and you tried so hard not to stare, but, in vain. This was Bucky, your friend. Were you attracted to him now? Or was it just the magical abilities of the rain to romanticise everything? Your eyes lingered on his lips and your thoughts drifted to tasting them. It was then that Bucky looked at you. You immediately looked away, hoping that he hadn’t noticed you staring.   
You two walked back silently to the tower as the rain stopped. You were scared you would give away something if you talked to him now. Also, Bucky kind of looked distant, deep in thoughts. Putting the dogs back to their homes, you walked back to your rooms to get changed, exchanging only a word or two in between. You breathed a sigh of relief when you were finally alone in your room. Did something change between you? Did he see you stare? Did you just ruin a friendship and turn everything awkward? Maybe you could just stay in this room forever or leave the country and never come back! You knew you were going down a spiral. You knew you were overthinking. It was probably nothing. You took a few deep breaths until you calmed yourself.  
As you stood in the shower, you couldn’t stop thinking about the image of the rain- drenched Bucky with red lips and swept back wet hair. You felt a burn between your legs which you could no longer ignore. You slowly started stroking your clit, thinking about his lips on yours, his tongue inside your mouth, his tongue everywhere- your neck, breasts, your wet opening, his penis entering you, taking you to the heights of pleasure. Your wetness started dripping down your thighs and you increased your pace. You couldn’t hold it any longer and you came, shuddering, calling out his name, the waves of pleasure making you weak in the knees. You held on to the wall for support, only one thought echoing in your mind-you wanted Bucky. You so wanted Bucky.  
You kept going to and fro in your mind about Bucky as you resumed your shower. He was your friend. But, it was not like he was out of bounds; you could make a move on him. But, you were not sure if he felt the same. Plus, this was only physical for you; you did not do relationships. Will Bucky be up to such a thing? You had been having a dry run for so long and Bucky should probably be too. Maybe you should give it a try, without being very obvious. Or maybe you should wait for a few days; this thing you had for Bucky might go away on its own. That’s better- you’ll wait and watch.  
After taking a shower and changing to warm clothes, you got out of your room to go to the hall. It was around seven, their usual dinner time. Almost everyone was there. Bucky was talking to Steve. When he noticed you, you flashed him a smile, which he returned. See, everything was normal, not awkward at all. You then went to sit with Nat and Sam. You stole glances at Bucky now and then and was a little bit disappointed when he didn’t look at you even once. Perhaps they were discussing some serious matter, you consoled yourself. Nat and Sam were talking about their new mission, but, you couldn’t focus. All you could think of was Bucky. You ignored the danger siren ringing in your head.

It had been two weeks since the “rain incident” and you were doing pretty well in covering up your attraction for Bucky. You acted normally around him and you still had breakfast together. But, you had reduced the amount of time hanging out with him alone. Even having breakfast with him was torture now. You now wrapped up the sessions faster than usual citing one thing or another. You wished you could stop having breakfast together too. But, you didn’t want to make him think that you were avoiding him and you continued with it. You gave in to your frustration when you were alone in your room, pleasuring yourself thinking of him and moaning his name. This thing you had for Bucky showed no signs of receding on its own. You so wanted to fuck the guy and when you couldn’t take it any longer, you decided to seek Nat’s help.   
When you went down for dinner one night and saw Nat sitting alone on the couch, you decided to go for it. The rest of the team was huddled around the dining table. You were quick to note that Bucky was not there.  
“Hey, Y/N!” Nat greeted you, folding the magazine she had been reading.  
“Hey, Nat. How did it go with your surveillance today?” you asked.  
Nat, Sam and Rhodey were assigned to do surveillance on a millionaire who was suspected to have terrorist connections.  
“Finished tracing his bank accounts. Nothing there,” said Nat, a little disappointed.  
“I am sure you will find something soon,” you said, sitting down on the couch beside her.  
“I hope so,” Nat sighed.  
“Listen, I have a problem,” you said, as you glanced around, making sure there was nobody in your ear shot.   
Nat looked at you, interested.  
“It’s Bucky,” you said, with your voice lowered.  
“Oh my God! You’re in love with him!!” Nat almost squealed. Your eyes widened in horror and you looked around to make sure no one had heard.  
“No. I am not. Keep your voice down and you know that I am not into shit like that.”  
“Falling in love isn’t shit. Steve and I are in love,” Nat said, feigning offence.  
“Ok. I am sorry. It’s not my thing, though. It’s more like-”  
“You want to fuck him!” Nat said, in a singsong voice.  
“More like it,” you said, turning slightly red.   
“I don’t blame you. He looks delicious. Plus you two have been spending a lot of time together.”  
“I want your help.”  
“I don’t think he’d say no. I mean, he really likes you, Steve told me.”  
“He likes me as a friend, I know that. I don’t know if it could be anything more. Can you help me find out?”  
“As in if he is ready to fuck? You want to be fuck buddies with the Winter Soldier!” Nat said with a smirk.  
“What?! It’s a basic body function. And I don’t want us to be fuck buddies. Just once’d do.”  
“You sure you’d stop after one?”  
“Maybe. Maybe not. I just want to find out if he’s up to it. Can you help me or not?” you said, a little annoyed. Can one not have sex in this place without so much questioning?  
“Ok, ok. I will help you.” Nat said.  
As if on cue, Bucky walked in right then.   
“Hey, Bucky!” Nat gestured Bucky to join you two.  
Oh God! What is she doing? Is she going to do it right now? You wanted to kill Nat. You put on your best nonchalant face as Bucky sat down on the couch next to Nat.   
“What’s up, Buck?” Nat asked.  
“Nothing. I am really hungry. Has everyone come?” he asked, looking around at the dinner table.  
“We are waiting for Tony and Pepper,” Nat said.  
“Oh. Okay. What are you two talking about?” he asked, looking at you.  
“Nothing. Just this and that,” you answered.  
“Steve had been talking about a mission in India. Did he talk to you? He was thinking you’d be interested,” Nat said.  
“Yeah. He told me. I think I’ll go,” said Bucky.   
You felt that some bitterness had crept into his voice as he answered. Nat and Bucky got talking about the mission and you joined in too. You were happy you had an excuse to stare at Bucky. He had his hair tied in a bun, with a few stands lying carelessly across his face. He looked even more handsome now, if that was possible. You loved it when he scrunched up his nose when he laughed. It was so freaking cute! Your annoyance at Nat having called Bucky to sit with them turned into annoyance at her talking about the mission. You wished she’d lead up to “her thing” soon.  
“Steve and I are going for a small trip this weekend,” Nat said, as Steve joined in with drinks for everyone.  
“That’s good,” Bucky said.  
“So what about you, Bucky? Wouldn’t you like to have some feminine company?” Nat asked, stressing the word “feminine”.  
“You both are feminine,” he said, shrugging.  
“C’mon. You know what I mean,” said Nat, playfully punching him in the arm.   
You tried to look uninterested.   
“I…I am not there yet, Nat. I am not ready for a relationship or anything of that sort right now,” Bucky said, thoughtfully staring at his beer bottle.  
“Who said anything about a relationship? What about just fucking?” asked Nat.  
Steve looked at her amused. Bucky looked slightly surprised. Nobody had probably asked him such personal questions.  
“Your girl is something else, Steve,” Bucky said, laughing.  
“What?! You need to let the steam out, grandpa,” Nat said, rolling her eyes.  
“I am not looking to let out the steam, Nat. And I am an old fashioned guy. I don’t want to do it for the sake of it. Maybe when the time is right, I will, with the right person.”  
“You mean you are boring, like Steve,” said Nat, getting up and walking towards Steve. Steve pulled her on to his lap and gave a peck on her cheek, making Nat giggle. God! Those two were disgusting. But, you couldn’t help smiling, watching the two so in love.   
Nat mouthed a “sorry” at you when the guys weren’t looking. Bucky’s answer had disappointed you for sure. But, you were not one to sulk about it. You will be over this maddeningly attractive man by tomorrow morning (or as soon as possible). You tried and it failed. No big deal. You’d find someone else to end your dry run with.   
“Dinner time, guys!” Sam shouted from the dining table. Tony and Pepper had arrived.  
They got up and walked to the dining area. You ignored the flutter in your chest as Bucky’s arm brushed against yours when you sat down at the table, next to each other. The alarms were all ringing. But, you shut them all down as you had done for the past two weeks. Man, you were really good at this!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feed backs are welcome:)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky has a date for Tony's party

“Did you all hear about Tony Stark’s birthday bash? Why does the invitation say that you have to bring a date?”  
Y/N was holding one of the invitations that Happy had bought in three days ago and obviously she was not happy. She threw it on to the table and sat down on the couch looking grumpy.   
“Bringing a date is not so bad, Y/N,” Nat said, taking up the invitation.  
Y/N groaned. Bucky and Steve laughed.  
“I’ll just sit here alone than get a “mandatory” date to attend his party,” Y/N said, air quoting mandatory.  
“Not attend Tony Stark’s party?!! Are you crazy??”Nat gasped as if Y/N had committed a grave offence.   
Bucky had never been to one of Stark’s parties, but, he had heard so much about them that he was actually looking forward to attending it. Also he had heard that Tony was very particular about the Avengers attending it.  
“He will hunt you down and kill you, Y/N. Please don’t commit the mistake of not attending his party. I made that mistake once and I heard about it for a year. I assure you, you don’t want to go through that.” Nat continued, with a dead serious look on her face.  
“Ok. I know he’s anal about these stupid parties. I will go alone then.”  
“Why are you so much against having fun, Y/N?” Steve asked.  
“What? It’s in two days. So many single people here won’t be having dates on such a short notice- Sam, Bucky, Thor and Loki, if they are coming…We dateless people will hang out together. Right, Buck?” Y/N asked expectantly.  
“Actually…” Bucky started to blush.  
“He has a date, Y/N.” Steve finished the sentence for him.  
Bucky thought he saw a flicker of disappointment when Y/N heard that. But, it was gone in a moment as if it was never there.  
“Ok then. I will hang out with the others,” Y/N shrugged. “Who’s your date, by the way?”  
“Her name is Lisa. She is working in the advertising department of one of Stark’s companies. She’s friends with Nat. She set up the date for me,” said Bucky  
“Ok. Cool, cool, cool. Good for you.” Y/N said, nodding. “Let me see if I can catch hold of Loki.”  
“You can do better than that, Y/N,” Steve said.  
“Have you even seen Loki, dear? He’s as good as they come.”  
Without waiting for Steve’s reply, Y/N left the room. Steve rolled his eyes.  
“I am going to hit the gym,” said Bucky getting up.  
“Oh, really? Want to look good for the girl, Buck?” Steve teased him.  
It had been two months since Bucky had reached the tower and he had never been to the gym despite Steve’s constant prodding. Now it felt like a good time to start and he knew it was not because of the date. He was in a relatively good place now, living one day at a time.  
“May be,” Bucky said, winking.  
“Why don’t we get a little action too, Steve?” asked Nat.  
“We just came back from the gym, Nat.”  
Nat cocked her brows with a disappointed look.  
“Oh. That action!” Steve said, laughing.  
“Yeah, grandpa. Keep up!” Nat said, pulling Steve towards her. And they started making out right there.   
“Oh God! It’s 10 am, guys.” Bucky groaned. Y/N was right - these two were disgusting.  
“It’s Sunday, Bucky.” Nat said, her eyes dreamily fixed on Steve.  
“Get a room, then.” Bucky said, getting up to leave for the gym. As he left the room, he heard them making their way to the quarters, giggling and whispering like teenagers. Bucky couldn’t help smile. They made such a great pair.  
It had been so long since he was with a girl. Though he didn’t show it outside, he was really nervous about his date. Were girls still the same as in the forties? Would Bucky and Lisa have anything in common at all to make conversation? Will it just be awkward and boring? Maybe he should get some help. Ask someone what girls liked these days. And he knew just the right person for that- Y/N Y/L/N. As he thought about her, he felt a bit annoyed that she was going to bring Loki as her date. What did she see in him? The guy kind of freaked out Bucky and his hair was always greasy. Steve was right- Y/N could do better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feed backs, kudos...all are welcome!!!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader is in a bit of a turmoil as she comes to terms with the fact that she indeed has feelings for Bucky.

You slammed the door to your room with unnecessary force. You sat on your bed, fuming. Bucky Barnes had a date. Bucky freaking Barnes had a freaking date. Didn’t he say just two weeks ago that he was not ready for all this? And Nat set up this date?! That traitor!! Even after knowing you had feelings for him? Wait a minute. She didn’t know you had feelings for Bucky. You just wanted to fuck him. You had told her that specifically. Then why were you so mad that he had a date? Suddenly you felt like someone had poured cold water in your insides as you realised that maybe you really had feelings for him. You let yourself fall on the bed, the realisation scaring you.  
“Oh God! I like Bucky Barnes,” you groaned into your pillow. Your heart started racing and tears started flooding your eyes. You were crying and you didn’t know why. This was unlike you. You were a strong girl who could handle things like this with ease. Shut them down, Y/N! You told yourself as you got up from the bed, wiping the tears. You were going to reason the whole thing up.  
You were jealous that Bucky Barnes had a date and it was because you liked him. Now that you heard yourself admit it, you realised that you really really liked him. In the last two weeks you two had hung out very less and you had really missed him. It also hurt you that Bucky did not probably reciprocate your feelings. What were you going to do now? It had been so long since you felt these things and you did not know what to do with it. You did not want to reveal your feelings and be thwarted and then turn everything awkward between you two. Also you didn’t even know if you were interested in pursuing a relationship with him; it was not really your thing. You loved being friends with him and it would probably be better if you stayed that way. Plus, this Lisa sounded like a normal person and Bucky deserved to be with someone normal. His date would probably work out and they’d keep seeing each other and you will get over him soon. That was it!  
Having worked that out in your head, you put on a smiling face and decided to contact Loki. You only had to think of him for a few moments and he’d appear. Or at least that was what he always told you when he left the tower each time. You had never really tried it and you were not sure if it’d work. You closed your eyes and focused on Loki’s face in your mind.  
“Hey, sweetheart!” Loki’s sexy voice drawled next to you in less than a minute.  
You opened your eyes and jumped up from the bed to hug him. You hugged him so tight that he stumbled. It felt good to hug him and you did not let go off him.  
“Are you alright, doll?” Loki asked, concern in his voice, his hands gently rubbing your back.  
“Yep. Why wouldn’t I be?” you said, breaking the hug and sitting down on the bed. You gestured Loki to sit down beside you.  
“Are you sure?” Loki asked as he took his seat.  
“I am alright, Loki. Will you be my date for Tony Stark’s birthday bash?”  
“Now I have to go for his little party too? Can’t you find someone else? Also, I am doing good, thanks for asking,” he said, feigning annoyance.  
“You are a god. I know that you’ll be fine. I don’t want to go through the painful experience of taking a new guy to the party, Loki. I know you and it will be a lot easier. Just for a few hours on Tuesday. Pleeeaaassseee!” you begged, making puppy eyes at him. You knew he’d budge.  
“Ha! The comfort of the known. I have to tell you, Y/N, you need to get out of that shell sometimes. Meeting new people isn’t so bad.”  
“Will you go with me or not?” you asked again, ignoring his psychoanalysis.  
“Ok. Fine. But, there’ll be payback, Y/N.”  
“Anything you want, dear.” you said, placing a peck on his cheek. There you go- you had a date. You won’t have to sit gloomily watching Bucky enjoying the night with some girl.   
“So the party is at 8. On the rooftop,” you said, getting up.  
“Ok. Do I have to wear a fancy suit?”  
“It won’t hurt if you did. But, it’s up to you,” you replied, smiling.   
You knew he’d turn up in a “fancy suit”. He wouldn’t miss a chance to make others feel inadequate. Yep, dressed up Loki was a sight to behold!  
“I gotta go now.” Loki said, getting up.  
“Already? You just got here! Let’s hang out a bit.”  
“I will see you on Tuesday at 8, sweetheart. Now I have to go.”   
He kissed you on your cheeks and in a moment he was gone. You sighed, looking around the empty room, your thoughts drifting to Bucky. A series of knocks jerked you out of your reverie. It was Nat’s knock.  
“Hey!” Nat jumped inside as you opened the door, wearing Steve’s t-shirt and boxers.  
“Hey, Nat. What’s up?” you asked, sitting on your bed, crossing your legs.   
“Umm…Y/N, I was meaning to tell you about Bucky’s date. I just-”  
“Not a problem, Nat. It was not like I wanted to date him or anything,” you said.  
“So you are ok with it? Thank God! I was worried you’d be mad,” Nat said, looking relieved.  
“Loki agreed he’d go with me to the party,” you said, hoping to steer the conversation away from Bucky.  
“Is it? That’s cool.”  
You both were silent for a while. You were scared that if you talked something Nat would deduce your feelings for Bucky. No one could hide anything from her. She’d figure it out eventually. But, you were not going to let it out soon.   
“So you are over Bucky now? Is he back to being just a non-fuckable friend?” Nat asked.   
Your heart beats rose when the conversation returned to Bucky.  
“I guess. You know that I don’t linger on one person for long. No strings attached, ever,” you said in what you hoped was a totally cool, nonchalant tone.  
“Ok. Good for you. But, seriously, you need to have sex sometime. What about Loki?”  
“God! Loki! NOOO!! We are not like that. Oh God! It feels like incest. Why would you even say that, Nat?” you shrieked.   
“Sorry. I am sorry. No Loki then.” Nat said, raising her hands in surrender.  
“You don’t worry about it. Tony Stark’s party is coming. I will find someone.” you said, winking.  
“Ok. Got to go now. See you later,” Nat said, getting up.  
After Nat left your room, you got out. If you just sat there, you were going to keep thinking about Bucky and it would just get worse. You decided to hit the library. Tony had some new books brought in last week. You were about to climb down the stairs to the library when someone called out.  
“Y/N!”  
You turned around. Bucky Barnes stood there, in his straight out of gym look. His t-shirt was flung across his shoulder and his naked torso shone with sweat. He was flushed from the workout and his muscles seemed larger than usual. You gulped, fully aware of your rising heart beats. Why the hell was he so intent on torturing you?  
“I need your help.” he said, walking closer to you.  
“What is it, Bucky?” you asked, struggling to keep your eyes away from his Greek-god body.  
“Umm…it’s just that…it’s about Tony’s party. You know, I haven’t been on a date in a long while. I don’t really know if-” his voice trailed off, his eyes urging you to understand without words. And of course, you did. Bucky needed you to help him with his date. What an excruciating situation to land in!   
“You need my help with your date.” you said.  
“Yes. Can you help me?” he asked.  
“Of course, man. I’d help you,” you said, trying to act cheerful. You were a good friend and you would certainly help him.  
“When do we begin then?” Bucky asked, his demeanour turning from tense to excited. You felt a pang in your heart seeing him all excited about his date.  
“I need to see your closet to decide if we should go shopping.”  
“We should go shopping? Can’t I just wear something I already have?”  
“You asked for my help. So I will decide that,” you said, taking up control. If you were going to do it, he’d have to do it your way.  
“Okay. First let me take a shower. I’ll ring you up after that?”  
“Alright. I’ll be in the library.”  
Bucky ran upstairs to his room, whistling a song. You felt guilty that you were mad at him for getting excited about his date. God knows he deserved it. Trying to feel happy for Bucky you slowly made your way to the library.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feed backs are welcome:)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and the reader goes shopping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have edited this chapter so many times. It's not exactly my favourite. But, anyway, here it is. Hope it doesn't suck as much as I think it does.

“Yeah, we need to go shopping,” Y/N said, as she shuffled through Bucky’s closet. There was not much in it and he had two suits that were not even given a second look by Y/N.  
“We have only two days left. Will we get it stitched in such a short time?” Bucky asked, wishing he had started planning earlier.  
“You leave that to me, Barnes,” Y/N said as she started walking out of the room.  
She had a total matter of fact look about her, like she was on a mission. She was totally serious and Bucky didn’t know whether that made her adorable or scary.  
“What are you looking at? Come on. Let’s go!” she shouted, as Bucky was just standing in his spot, looking confused.  
So, yeah, they were going shopping right then. Bucky changed to a relatively new t-shirt and followed her out. Loki was right- she could be bossy.  
“Do you mind walking? The store is right around the corner,” she asked, as they got out of the tower.  
Bucky shrugged. They walked out of the compound silently. As they turned around the corner, Bucky saw a store with the image of Tony Stark hugging a middle aged man. They were going to Tony Stark’s tailor, apparently.  
“Hey, Harold. How are you?” asked Y/N cheerily as they entered the store.  
Harold was the man in the photo. He was a short man of around forty years with bushy eyebrows and a generally cheerful demeanour. He laughed out loud when he saw Y/N and came running over to greet her.  
“Look who it is! Y/N, my darling!” he said, hugging her.   
“We have an emergency, Harold. Can you help us?” asked Y/N.  
“If it’s a suit emergency, sure,” Harold said.  
“Yep. We need a suit for this gentleman by tomorrow evening,” Y/N said, gesturing towards Bucky.  
Harold who had just noticed Bucky, gave a thumbs up to Y/N and winked in what he thought was a discreet manner.  
“We are not together, Harold.” Y/N said, shaking her head.  
“Why not? You two look good together.” Harold was disappointed.  
“Can we get the suit tomorrow?” asked Y/N, ignoring Harold’s matchmaking.  
“I will never fail you, my dear.” Harold said, moving towards Bucky with his measuring tape.  
Y/N chose a dark blue cloth for the suit. Bucky was not sure how he’d look in that.  
“Trust me. You’ll look absolutely fine in this,” Y/N said. So he decided to trust her.  
They had spent almost forty five minutes in the store and Bucky was kind of hungry now. After going to the gym he had not had anything as they had come straight for shopping.  
“Can we get a bite?” asked Bucky as he spotted a coffee shop nearby.  
“Sure.” said Y/N.  
They ordered a coffee each and two burgers and found a seat by the window side.  
“Do you have any idea what Lisa is like?” asked Y/N.  
“Nat only told me she’s fun and that I’d like her,” Bucky said.  
“Hmm.” Y/N looked outside, with an unreadable expression on her face.  
“Anyway, Buck, girls are not much different from your…you know, those days. Just be a gentleman and show her a good time. Talk to her and get to know her and let her get to know you. Be honest as much as possible. I am not a relationship expert or anything. In fact I am the worst person in the tower you could have asked help to,” Y/N said, chuckling.  
Bucky didn’t know when she had started calling him Buck. But, he liked that.  
“I am comfortable with you and I couldn’t have asked anyone else. Steve and Nat are busy in their own worlds. And Sam would have teased the hell out of me. You are not as bad as you think you are, Y/N. What you just gave was actually good advice.”  
Y/N smiled. It was not her usual smile; he felt like something was wrong. Just then their orders arrived. Y/N was silent and seemed completely focused on her burger. But, Bucky knew her mind was elsewhere.  
“Are you alright?” Bucky asked, no longer able to hide his concern.  
“Yeah, of course. Why would you ask that?” Y/N said, smiling.  
“Nothing. Just...” Bucky shrugged. After that Y/N seemed ok. They talked as usual, sharing stories and laughing at silly jokes. Yeah, she was alright; he had just misread the situation.  
They left the coffee shop to go shoe shopping. It was over soon as they both fell in love with the same black shoes in ten minutes. Within another half hour they bought a black shirt too to go with the shoes. By noon they had wrapped up their shopping.  
“Can I ask you something, Buck?” Y/N asked as they entered the elevator of the tower.  
“Shoot away.”  
Y/N looked at him for a few moments, like she was framing the question. The elevator opened and they walked into the main hall. It was empty.  
“Are you here because Steve wants you to be? Would you rather be leading a life away from all this superhero stuff?” Y/N asked, sitting down on the couch in the main hall.  
“That’s….that’s a difficult question, Y/N. I am in an in between, maybe,” he answered, sitting down beside her.  
Y/N looked at him thoughtfully.  
“You don’t owe anybody anything, Buck. And I bet Steve knows that better than anyone.”  
He nodded, sighing.  
“You can dance, right?” Y/N asked, changing the subject.  
“I used to dance. But, I have not in a long time.”  
“Ok. We’ll jog your memory then. Let’s watch some videos and get you up to speed. Friday, play some dance videos.” Y/N prompted the in-house AI.   
“Shuffling dance videos,” came the robotic voice.  
The television set came to life. A video started playing with a few young people dancing to the tune of “Cheap thrills”. Bucky had recently heard the song and he really liked it. After a few seconds, Y/N got up from her seat.  
“Come on, Buck. Show me your moves,” she said, already moving to the tune and smiling widely.  
“Now?” Bucky asked.   
Y/N nodded her head vigorously. With any other person, he’d have been shy. He was still shy, but, it was Y/N. He knew he could be himself with her.  
“Alright.” Bucky said, getting up. He followed Y/N’s steps. She smiled appreciatively.  
“You are not so bad, Barnes.”  
Bucky started enjoying it. It was not as scary as he thought. His memory rushed through the clubs in Brooklyn where he used to go dancing with the girls. It was all coming more easily to him than he expected. Y/N was dancing her mind out and she was totally absorbed in it. Bucky paused and watched her dance. Her eyes were closed and she had a smile on her lips. Her hair tie had come loose and her thick Y/H/C hair was flowing all around. She looked so beautiful. Why hadn’t he noticed that before? She lifted her hands and started turning around. Her t- shirt rode up a little, exposing her waist and he suddenly felt a flame lit inside him. He turned his eyes away from her, stunned.  
“You are not dancing.” Y/N opened her eyes and shouted over the music.   
“I just…need some water.” Bucky gestured towards the kitchen counter. He walked away from Y/N as fast as possible. As he gulped the cold water, he watched Y/N, now sitting on the couch, flipping through videos, her faced screwed in concentration. Bucky felt his heartbeats rising and he suspected it had nothing to do with all the dancing they had done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feed backs are welcome:)


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Tony's birthday party. The reader is pining over Bucky.

It was 6:30 pm on Tuesday. You had started getting dressed. The dress you chose for the evening was a teal blue coloured, off-shoulder one. You had decided on a pearl necklace and nude make up to go with it. You did your make up and tied your hair in a messy bun. You were halfway into slipping into the dress when you heard rapid knocks on the door. It should be Nat; you had asked her to come help zip up the dress. You wriggled into the rest of the dress and holding it tight in the front with one hand, opened the door.  
It was not Nat. Bucky stood at your door in his dark blue suit and his hair in a bun looking absolutely handsome. The suit brought out the blue in his eyes and you couldn’t take your eyes off him. He flashed you the sweetest smile and you could literally feel your knees going weak.  
“I just came by to show you the dressed up Bucky Barnes. You look great, by the way,” he said, looking at you intently, his eyes travelling through your whole frame.  
You felt your cheeks heating up under his gaze. You should probably say something.  
“Thank you. You look…you look really handsome too,” you managed, gaining back your senses. “Come on, in.”  
You turned back and let him in.  
“Umm…Y/N, your dress is not zipped.” Bucky said.  
You had totally forgotten about that.  
“Yeah. I know. I can’t do it by myself. I…I was waiting for Nat,” you said.  
“Do you…want me to?” Bucky asked.  
You felt your breath hitch at his question. It’s just a zipper, right? Why not? It’s no big deal.  
“Of course. Can you?” you said, turning around.  
You felt Bucky’s heat as he came closer. His cologne filled your nostrils and you closed your eyes, taking him in. You felt goose bumps on your back when his cool metal hand made the lightest of contacts with your skin. You prayed he wouldn’t notice. He fiddled with the zipper for a moment and then he was done zipping you up in a jiffy. Was it over already? You felt him move away and you were more disappointed than you should have been.  
You turned around and thanked him. To your surprise, Bucky seemed a little flustered too.  
“Hello, beautiful.”  
You both jumped at the sudden voice from the window side. Loki stood there in all his glory, in a black velvet suit. He seemed to have braided his hair and tied it in a half bun.  
“Hello, Barnes,” Loki said, walking towards them.  
“Hi, Loki,” said Bucky. He didn’t look very excited at Loki’s sudden appearance.  
Loki placed a peck on your cheek and looked at you with adoration.  
“You look absolutely gorgeous,” he said.  
“Thank you, Loki. You don’t look so bad yourself,”  
“I will get going then. See you at the party,” Bucky said, preparing to leave.  
“Are you going to pick up Lisa?” you asked. Why was he leaving so soon?  
“Yes. Tony has rented me a car.”  
“Good luck, Buck. You’ll do fine,” you said and without thinking you walked towards him and kissed him on the cheek. You stepped back, smiling at him. Bucky looked slightly taken aback.  
“Thank you, Y/N. For everything,” he said, after a moment’s silence. And then he left, closing the door behind him.  
You sighed, a bit loudly perhaps. You had forgotten you had company.  
“How long has this been going on?” Loki asked, checking his image in the mirror.  
“What has been going on?”  
Loki was worse than Nat. You knew he wouldn’t get inside your head. But, it was difficult to keep a secret from him.  
“You know what I mean, Y/N. The guy, James Buchanan Barnes. You like him. It’s painfully obvious,” he said, turning around to face you.  
You let out a sigh again. There was no use lying to him. You put on the off white shoes you had kept ready.  
“Let’s not talk about it, Loki,” you said, checking yourself in the mirror for the last time.  
“Why not? If you like him, why is he going with another girl? And why have I been dragged into this whole thing?”  
“He doesn’t like me that way. Besides, I don’t want to get involved with anyone.”  
“Hmm…I see. But, let’s not jump to conclusions too soon, dear.”  
“Can we not talk about it and just go?”  
It was 5 minutes to 8. You could hear the noises around. People were already gathering.  
“Sure,” Loki said.  
You wrapped your hands around Loki’s elbow and you both made your way to the rooftop. You saw Sam with a brunette you didn’t know and you were surprised to see Thor with Jane. Were they back together now? You saw Tony with Pepper at the centre stage with some important looking people. You prodded Loki to walk towards Tony and Pepper.  
Tony broke his conversation with whosoever it was when he saw you.  
“Y/N! There you are! Is Loki your date? Really?” he asked, hugging you warmly.  
“Yep! Happy birthday, Tony,” you said, giving him a peck and handing over the small package that was your birthday gift for him.  
“Thank you, dear. Walk around. Have fun. There’s an open bar,” Tony said, winking.  
You gave him a thumbs up and started looking for the girls, when you realised that you had lost Loki. Sighing, you glanced around for any sign of Nat or Wanda. Just then you saw Bucky coming through the door hand in hand with a beautiful woman in a red dress. She leaned towards his ears and said something that made him laugh so hard. You felt your stomach drop. You needed a drink if you had to survive this.  
“Ladies and gentlemen, please move towards the centre stage where the birthday boy will soon cut the cake,” Happy Hogan’s voice announced from somewhere.  
You decided to ignore that and made your way to the bar at the far end. You sat down and ordered tequila. People were gathering around the centre stage. You couldn’t help searching for Bucky and his date. And you found them, still hand in hand, standing so close to each other, looking so happy. Where was that fucking drink?  
The bartender handed you the drink just then and you downed it in one go. You felt your insides burning. A birthday song erupted from the crowd and you assumed the cake had been cut. Fireworks exploded in the sky. You watched them, downing another shot. The fireworks were the best part of his birthday celebrations. Red, green and golden lights lit up the night sky. It lasted almost fifteen minutes.  
“LET THE PARTY BEGIN!!” boomed the DJ’s voice.  
Loud music started playing. Waiters moved around carrying drinks and snacks. People started eating, getting drunk and dancing. You looked around for Bucky again and found him and his date having drinks with Steve and Nat. They were seated around a table and seemed to be having so much fun, talking animatedly and laughing out loud. Bucky looked really good in the suit. Your thoughts drifted to Sunday when you had gone shopping with him. It now felt like it happened ages ago. It was such an amazing day- shopping with him, walking the streets with him, having coffee together, the accidental brushes of your skin against his, the laughter, the silly jokes, his nose-scrunching smile. And that dance session had been so much fun; that is until he ran off saying that he was tired. You had really been missing him. It was like when you were with him, something fell into place; it felt so right. You knew you were gone for the guy. You felt like someone was constricting your chest, like there was a huge weight on it. And you were scared.  
He looked so happy now. Did he laugh like that when he was with you? You hoped he did. What had Loki meant by saying not to jump to conclusions soon? Did he think maybe Bucky liked you back too? But, did it matter if he did? Haven’t you always been the one to steer clear of relationships? But, you couldn’t take your eyes off him. You had never been this smitten by anyone before and this was all the more painful because of that. Such things did not happen to you. You always had your head straight. But now it felt like everything was falling apart. This was just a date; it should not even be bothering you. This was all such bullshit!  
You tore your eyes away from him and took another shot. You saw Loki then, in a corner, surrounded by a gang of girls. They were all listening in rapt attention to whatever he was saying. Probably some made up story. You waved in his direction to get his attention. He waved back but, showed no intention of coming to you. He was supposed to be your date and here you were sitting alone at the bar. When would it be an appropriate time to leave this party?  
You downed the shots in rapid succession. People were dancing all around. Bucky was up, dancing with Lisa and he was doing pretty well. You decided that you won’t look at them anymore and took out your phone. You were playing on your phone when Nat and Steve came to the bar.  
“Why are you sitting alone? Where’s Loki?” asked Nat, while Steve ordered them drinks.  
You nodded to the corner where Loki was entertaining his admirers. Nat laughed out loud.  
“Typical! Don’t just sit there, Y/N. Go and have some fun,” Steve said, clearly annoyed at Loki.  
You acted like you were immersed in your phone. They left soon with their drinks. People came and went by the bar. Sam gave you company for some time when his date went to the loo. You learned that her name was Kate and she was a scientist working with Bruce. Thor came by to say hi. Wanda and Vision were dancing their hearts out and you waved at them when they saw you. Peter Parker had come and went soon as it was a school night. Nat came to check up on you every five minutes until you told her off, a little bit harshly.  
The upbeat music suddenly stopped and a slower, romantic tune took its place. Tony and Pepper took the centre stage, dancing slowly. The people around followed. For God’s sake, this was not a wedding, Tony! Your eyes drifted to Bucky. In the dim light you saw them dancing slowly to the tune, smiling at each other and talking softly. You felt your chest tightening. You were mad at him and you were guilty that you were mad at him. They turned around slowly and Bucky was facing towards you now. Suddenly he looked in your direction and your eyes met. You looked away and gulped down your drink. Did he see you staring at him? You couldn’t actually care now. Your head was buzzing and you just wanted to go to your room. You tried to focus on the game you were playing on your phone.  
“Hey!”  
You looked up from your phone to see Bucky and his date standing by the bar. The music was back to being loud and annoying.  
“Hi, Buck!” you said, really hoping he won’t sit there with his date.  
“Lisa, this is Y/N. Y/N, Lisa Montgomery,” Bucky introduced the two of you. You both said hi to each other politely. Lisa excused herself to the washroom while Bucky ordered them drinks.  
“No dancing tonight?” Bucky asked, sitting on the stool next to you.  
“Nope. I am focusing on getting drunk,” you said, lifting your glass.  
Bucky smiled softly at you.  
“Your date seems to be going well,” you said.  
“Yeah. I hope so. She’s pretty great.”  
“She is really pretty too.” You admitted in spite of yourself.  
You sat in silence for a while. Bucky was looking around at the people dancing, his face half turned away from you. A few strands of hair had come loose from his bun and were hanging on his face. In the drunken state that you were in, you did not hesitate to gently pull them away from his face and tuck them behind his ear. Bucky turned towards you, his eyes widened. Your hands were still lingering on his shoulder and your eyes were lost in his grey-blues. For a brief moment, you thought you saw a flicker of a want in his. For a brief moment, you thought maybe he did feel the same way about you.  
“Shall we get going?”  
Lisa’s voice chimed in your ears. It felt like she was talking from very far away. Bucky broke away from your eyes and turned towards her. And, whatever you hoped was there in that brief contact, was gone. He got their drinks and started to leave. You looked at him, something pulling inside you painfully, urging him not to leave you. But, he did not even glance in your direction as he left with Lisa. You took another shot.  
“Hey, sweetheart,” Loki jumped onto the stool beside you.  
“Look who decided to show up!”  
“Has spending the night pining over Bucky Barnes made you rethink your decision of not wanting to be involved with anyone?” he asked.  
“What?! I am drunk, Loki. I cannot understand such long sentences now,” you said.  
“Do you still think you don’t want to act on your feelings towards Barnes?”  
“Yes… No... What was the question?” Loki was just confusing you.  
“We will talk tomorrow, Y/N. I think it’s time for you to leave the party.”  
“It’s not up to you to decide. You, my date, who abandoned me for the whole night!” you were getting really mad at him now.  
“I, your date, am deciding that now.”  
In a blink you were in your room. Loki had teleported you.  
“Loki, don’t do that. It makes me dizzy!”  
He led you to your bed and tucked you in. You did not resist. You were really tired and your head was throbbing.  
“Thank you, Loki,” you said, sleep already taking over you.  
“Good night, sweetheart.” You heard him say as the lights went off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feed backs are welcome:) Kudos too....


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is kind of a filler chapter. Bucky is confused about Y/N. Y/N is having a hang over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feed backs are welcome!!!

Bucky switched on the light in his room and realised that he was smiling uncontrollably. He had just returned after dropping Lisa at her apartment after the party. When he was about to leave, Lisa had leaned in and kissed him on the lips. “Good night, Bucky Barnes”, she had said, smiling. It was a brief, chaste kiss, but, enough to erupt butterflies in his stomach. Bucky’s first date after ages had gone really well. Lisa was really great and they had had a great time at the party. She was fun and easy to talk to. They had agreed upon a real first date that Friday night and Bucky was really looking forward to it.   
As he changed to his pyjamas and lay on his bed, his thoughts drifted to Y/N. If anything marred his time with Lisa tonight, it was all the weird, confusing things that happened between Y/N and him. What the hell had really transpired between them today? Was it of any significance? She had looked absolutely stunning for one thing that Bucky could not take his eyes off her when he went to her room. Was it stupid of him to offer to zip up her dress? It was just a friend helping a friend, right? Why did she shudder when his fingers grazed her back? Didn’t she look blushed when he was done zipping her? And the little peck on his cheek when he left the room after Loki’s untimely intrusion? It might have been just a friendly kiss, but, wasn’t there something more between then in that moment? He couldn’t stop thinking of Y/N for the whole of his journey to Lisa’s apartment.  
He had his head almost cleared when he arrived at the party with Lisa. He had seen Y/N at the bar and had decided to steer clear of her. Then, he had seen her staring at him while he danced with Lisa. He tried not to look in her direction for a while; then, when he finally did, she had turned away, looking flustered. After trying to avoid the bar for the whole night, he had budged when Lisa wanted a drink. And then, the hair tucking at the bar happened. Y/N was drunk for sure. But, the way she looked at him then had his breath knocked out of his lungs. Lisa had come back then and he had left with her, all the while feeling Y/N’s eyes on him. Was he reading too much into things? Did Y/N really…?  
He didn’t know if there was anything, anything at all. What he did know was that he liked Lisa. And Lisa liked him too and they were going to have a date in two days. He had been confused and in a daze for around seventy years. He didn’t want more of that. No confusions or half-hearted feelings or doubtful glances. Straightforward was what he wanted. Lisa was that. He was sure of her, like he was not of Y/N or like he could never be of him about Y/N. He knew nothing was certain with Lisa either. But, he could define what it was between them and that made him feel secure. 

Y/N had not yet come down for breakfast. She was usually the first one to reach the kitchen. Bucky kept looking at the stairs to see if she was coming. There was no sign of her. She was very drunk the previous night and was probably asleep. He made bread omelette for the two of them anyway. After he was done eating, he decided to check upon her. Carrying her share of the breakfast on a tray, he walked to her room.   
It was after he had knocked at her door that he heard muffled voices from inside. Was someone there with her? He was considering turning around and leaving when the door opened.   
“Good morning, Barnes,” Loki greeted him cheerfully.  
How did the guy manage to look so good this early in the morning? And why the hell was he always in Y/N’s room? Bucky felt annoyed.  
“Good morning, Loki. I brought Y/N breakfast. How’s she?” Bucky asked, craning his neck to see inside.  
“Oh sorry. Come on in.” Loki let him inside.  
Y/N was sitting on the bed, still in her dress and makeup. She groaned when she saw you.  
“No, Loki. People can’t see me now!”  
“Hungry?” Bucky asked, ignoring her protests. He placed the tray on the bedside table and sat down on a chair facing her.  
Y/N reached out for the pills on the table and gulped it down. Loki probably brought her the aspirin and water.  
“Why do I have so many people in my room in the morning?” she asked, her head in her hands.  
“I am leaving now that you have company. But, expect me back soon,” Loki said.  
“Ok. We will miss you. Bye, Loki,” Y/N said, sarcastically.  
“I know you will.” And with that Loki disappeared.  
“How are you feeling?” Bucky asked, softly, so as not to overwhelm her.  
“Hung over. I am feeling hung over, Bucky,” Y/N said, still not looking at him.  
“Do you…do you want some coffee? I have brought coffee.”  
“No. I just want to sleep some more. Can you shut the door when you go?”  
She fell on the bed and turned to the other side, away from him. Bucky felt a little hurt. Was she mad at him? Maybe she’s just hung over. It was better to leave her alone. Bucky got up and left, shutting the door behind him.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Lisa are going strong and the reader is going through hell. The reader admits to Loki that she's in love with Bucky. Something from the reader's past comes to light.

You were returning to the tower after a month in India. You had jumped at the opportunity to take over the mission to India when Bucky seemed a little reluctant. Bucky and Lisa had started full-fledged dating and he wanted to stay back. Lisa had got clearance to the tower and it was impossible to see Bucky without her. Even your breakfast sessions had come to a stop (mainly because it was hell to be with Bucky alone now). You were going crazy and couldn’t wait to get away from him. Sam and Nat had come with you too. The mission was over in two weeks and they had returned to New York while you chose to hang around in India a little bit more in the hope that you’ll get over Bucky. You knew that Nat knew what was going on and you were thankful that she had not said anything until now.   
As much as you enjoyed being in India, you were happy when the warmth of the tower embraced you. You were about to go to the kitchen and eat something when you noticed Bucky and Lisa on the couch, cuddled together, reading something. And in a moment you knew you were not over him when your stomach dropped down by a ten feet. Mentally cursing yourself, you slowly turned back to sneak into the quarters.  
“Y/N!!” You heard Bucky’s voice, shouting. He had seen you.  
You turned to face him. He was already walking towards you, his face split in a warm smile.  
“Hey, Buck!” you said, as he caught you in a warm embrace. His familiar scent filled your nostrils and made you want to scream. You broke off immediately from the hug.  
“How have you been? How was your trip? I had tried calling you a couple of times,” Bucky said, still holding you.  
It was not a couple of times. He had called you at least ten times and you had let it go to the voice mail.  
“I was busy, Buck. Sorry that I didn’t call you back. The trip was great, by the way.”  
“Missed you a lot,” he said looking fondly at you.  
“You too.”  
You said, moving away from him, towards the kitchen. You might as well eat something now. He missed you, like a friend missed another friend. That was it, right? You said hi to Lisa and opened the fridge hoping to find some left overs. There was some pizza and an apple. You took it out with a carton of orange juice. Bucky and Lisa had moved to the kitchen to give you company. You mustered a smile with great difficulty as you sat down with them.  
“So…how was India?” Bucky asked.  
“India was great. Such a colourful and vibrant place! You should go sometime,” you said through a mouthful of pizza.  
“You missed it, Bucky,” Lisa said, gently placing a hand on his shoulder.  
“It’s ok. We’ll go sometime,” he said, looking so warmly into her eyes that you wanted to throw up. He was planning trips with her now? Were they already married? You tried to concentrate on chewing the pizza and not look at them.  
“I gotta go now. Work calls,” Lisa said, as she started to leave. Bucky too got up with her. Bidding you goodbye, she walked to the elevator with Bucky accompanying her. As they waited for the elevator, you saw them exchange an intimate kiss, with Bucky’s hands roaming all over her body. You looked down at the now empty pizza box, your insides numb. You needed to get away from him. Taking the juice box with you, you ran to the stairs. You heard Bucky calling you from behind. You didn’t care and you didn’t stop. You just wanted to be alone in your room.

Loki sat on the bed watching you. It had been around ten minutes since he had come and you had spent it pacing around the room. He was patient and did not say anything. Finally you sat down on the chair facing him. You took a deep breath.  
“So here’s the thing. I think I am in love with Bucky,” you said, looking at the floor.  
It felt crazy to hear yourself admit it out loud. You had never felt this way about anyone and seeing how disastrous this was you were thankful you had never been in love. Being in love was totally overhyped. It was nothing, but pain and more pain. It had been two weeks since you came back from India and you knew you were still crazy about Bucky. You stayed away from him as much as possible and you were missing him so badly that you had to finally admit you were in love with him.  
“Ok. So what do you think you should do now?” Loki asked, after a moment’s silence.  
“I am not going to do anything. He is in a very happy relationship with Lisa and I am not going to do anything to hamper that. I just wanted to vent this all to someone.”  
“Don’t you think he should know, though?”  
“Why must he know it? I have no intention of being in a relationship with him. Lisa is good for him. She’s normal and not…damaged. He deserves someone…normal,” you said, your voice slightly faltering.   
“You are not damaged, Y/N. You just have a traumatic past. So does Bucky, in case you have forgotten that.”  
“He did not kill his own father,” you said, struggling to keep your tears in check. All the guilt and all the pain that you had buried in the far recesses of your mind were gnawing their way out.  
“Y/N,” Loki got up and sat down on the floor at your feet. He gently lifted your chin to face him.  
“Y/N, he was a bad person. What you did was the right thing.”  
It had happened ten years ago. Your father was working with SHIELD. You had just joined in and you were so proud to be known as his daughter in the SHIELD circle. And it was you who discovered that he was leaking highly classified information to the enemies. It broke you to the core. You confronted him in his office. He had pointed a gun at you. You knew he wouldn’t fire. But, you were so angry; you felt so betrayed. In an emotionally charged moment you had pulled out your gun and shot him dead.  
“My own mother hates me, Loki. I haven’t seen my sister in ten years. I used to hear gunshots and see his bloodied body when I closed my eyes for so many years. He was a bad man, but, he was a good father, Loki. He loved us, he did. When I shot him dead, he just whispered my name. I…” Tears started flowing down your cheeks. Loki held you in his arms as you cried your heart out. After a few minutes, you gathered yourself and stood up. You wiped your tears on your sleeves and said.  
“I am in love with Bucky Barnes and I have no idea how to handle it.”  
“You need to let go off the past, Y/N. Are you going to therapy now?” asked Loki, concerned.  
“Yes. I am going to therapy, Loki. And I am doing fine. It’s just…these things come out sometimes. You don’t have to worry about it. Let’s-”  
A knock on the door interrupted you. You opened it to find Sam.  
“Steve’s office,” he said, walking away.  
Asking Loki to wait in the room, you left for Steve’s office. When you reached, you found Bucky and Steve immersed in a discussion.  
“Y/N, come on, in,” Steve greeted you.  
“What is it, Steve?” you asked, taking your seat beside Bucky.  
“Shuri has some new equipment that she wants us to see. You two are free now; so I thought you could go. Will take four, five days max.”  
You were going with Bucky?  
“Both of us?” you asked, just to make sure.  
“Yeah. You and Bucky.”  
You nodded.   
“If you are ready, Okoye will come pick you up today itself.”  
“Sure. Why not?” you said, trying to sound cheerful. If it had been another time, you’d be jumping up and down at the opportunity to go to Wakanda. Now, this was going to be just torture. You gave Bucky a weak smile, which he did not return. He was just watching you, curiously. What was up with him?  
“Ok. Then be at helipad II by 1500,” Steve said.  
“Sure, Cap.”  
You got up and left as soon as possible. You sensed Bucky coming after you, but, did not wait up for him. How were you going to survive this trip?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feed backs are welcome!!!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader and Bucky have reached Wakanda. Bucky is in anguish.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have taken my liberties in describing Wakanda. Please bear with me:)

Okoye had come to pick them up. Y/N spent most of the time on the plane chatting with Okoye or sleeping. Other than a few formal words, she had stayed away from Bucky. He was now really mad at her and stayed at the back of the plane, reading. He had thought he was imagining that Y/N had been avoiding him and tried not to think too much about it. But, now it was way too obvious. The way she just ran off after the meeting in Steve’s office! What had he done? Was she just done with him and did not want to be friends with him anymore? Anyway he had decided that he was going to do the same with her. But, the fact was that he was missing her terribly. Ever since he had started dating Lisa, they had been spending lesser time with each other. They did not even have breakfast together now. Lisa was great for sure; but, he missed talking to Y/N, he missed their silly jokes, he missed her laughter and just the comfort of being with her. He missed her so very badly.  
He was so lost in his thoughts, he didn’t even notice they had reached Wakanda. As they got out of the plane, they were greeted by T’challa and Shuri.  
“Welcome back, White Wolf,” said T’challa, hugging him.  
“Hey, Bucky!” Shuri gave him a hi-five.   
Y/N seemed really excited to be in Wakanda. She kept asking questions to Shuri and Okoye, who dropped them off at the guests’ quarters. They were allowed to rest for the day and Bucky was thankful for that. He did not even look in Y/N’s direction as he got into his room, though he sensed her eyes on him. Yeah, I am avoiding you too, Miss!  
The sunlit room welcomed him warmly. He was happy to be back in Wakanda. He opened the windows and breathed in the fresh air. The buildings shone, reflecting the afternoon sun. Wakanda looked busy, yet calm. He opened the door to the balcony on the opposite side and was greeted by the mountains standing watch over Wakanda. He sat on the hanging chair in the balcony, feeling happy and at peace. He felt more at home in this place than he ever did at the tower in New York. The official business would be over in a few days; but, Steve had asked him to stay back as long as he wanted. After spending some time in the balcony reading, he decided to take a walk. Y/N’s room was opposite his and just as he got out, he saw her walking towards the main door. Should he join her? Or should they go their separate ways? He stood considering it for a moment. But, it was Y/N. And he was missing her terribly.  
“Y/N!” he called out loud.  
She stopped and turned back. Bucky jogged to catch up with her.  
“Where are you headed?” he asked, as they resumed walking.  
“Nowhere in particular,” she shrugged.  
“Shall we go see the waterfalls?” he asked, as he held the main door open for her.  
“Sure. You know this place better than I do,” Y/N said with a faint smile.   
The sun was setting and the beautiful Wakandan sky was painted in red and yellow. Y/N kept gasping and pointing at the birds and flowers she had never seen before. She looked like a child who had reached wonderland. Bucky had felt the same way when he was here for the first time. The beauty of Wakanda still did not fail to amaze him. They were walking towards the country side now, away from the city. Lush green meadows extended to as far as the eyes could go. Sheep and goats were being herded back to their homes. Bucky stopped to talk to some of his friends from his time there. He was happy that he still remembered some Xhosa.  
Brightly coloured flowers adorned their way down to the waterfalls. A light breeze was blowing, bringing in a pleasant fragrance. A star had started shining in the horizon. Slowly the terrain changed to taller bushes and then to trees. The forest was denser than Bucky remembered. They walked in silence, with Y/N looking all around. She sure was wishing she had more eyes. They had walked for around twenty minutes when they started hearing the water crashing down the rocks. They looked at each other and Bucky knew what Y/N was going to do. Y/N started running, racing Bucky to the falls. Bucky knew he could beat her in a blink, which he did. The waterfalls looked as magnificent as ever. The roaring water rushed down from around a height of thousand feet and Bucky couldn’t help feel humbled in its presence. The falls, the majestic rocks, the dense green forest all around, the crystal clear river hurrying away - it was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen.  
“Wow!!” said Y/N as she caught up with Bucky, panting heavily. “It’s beautiful!”  
Y/N sat on a rock in the river, gazing up at the waterfall. They were still a long way from the falls. Bucky removed his shoes and sat down beside her. Bucky sensed her tensing up. What the hell was going on with her?  
“Is this the place where the King is selected?” she asked.  
“Yes, higher up. Where the falls start,” Bucky answered.   
Y/N threw her shoes away on the shore and gently dipped her feet into the water. Bucky followed her. They now sat side by side, silent, their feet playing with the cold water. It was not a comfortable silence like before; instead it felt like some wall was being build up between them.  
“Why have you been avoiding me?” Bucky asked, before he could stop himself.  
“What?” she asked, looking surprised. Like she didn’t know!  
“You have been avoiding me. I know it and you know too. Why?” Bucky asked again.  
“Barnes, you are 24x7 with your girlfriend and you think I have been avoiding you?” she asked, a flicker of anger in her eyes.  
“That’s not true. I still have breakfast early in the morning. You don’t come down anymore. You don’t come to walk Milo and Rusty. Besides you are always hanging out with Loki.” Bucky was annoyed now.  
Y/N looked away. She looked like she was about to shout or something. Bucky braced himself. Then she took a deep breath and got up.  
“Let’s go back,” she said, jumping to the shore.  
“We are not going to talk about it then? FINE!” Bucky yelled at her as he angrily pulled on his shoes.  
Y/N had already started walking. Bucky did not try to catch up with her. When they reached halfway through the forest, Y/N stopped at a fork not knowing which route to take. Bucky walked past her, taking the left route. Y/N muttered something as she followed him. It was getting dark and Bucky quickened his pace, turning back to see if Y/N could keep up with him. She was a few meters behind.  
“Could you speed up? It’s getting dark,” Bucky shouted at her.  
Y/N did not change her pace. She walked as if she had not heard him. This woman was so stubborn! Bucky waited for her to catch up. They walked together for the rest of the journey, not talking a word. When they were about to reach the palace, Y/N suddenly stopped and caught hold of his arm. He looked at her and saw that she was looking at the sky, her eyes wide with wonder. He had seen that sight so many times, one that could rarely be seen in New York. The sky was filled with thousands of stars, so full that it looked like there was not an inch left. Shooting stars occasionally streaked past, their burning bodies leaving a heavenly glow.  
“God! I can die now!” Y/N said, as she let go of his arm. Bucky felt unreasonably disappointed at the sudden loss of contact. Y/N stood taking in the night sky, like she could not have enough of it. She looked so purely happy then, the magical glow of the stars enveloping her. Bucky stood smiling, watching her. Then he realised with a rising panic that he wanted to kiss her, he wanted to hold her in his arms and kiss her soft, beautiful lips. He tore his eyes away from her and started walking, his mind reeling under her effect.  
“Buck, wait for me!” Y/N shouted. “You were right. Wakanda is the most beautiful place on earth!” she said, as she joined him.  
Bucky just said “hmm” and continued walking. Y/N did not pursue their conversation further. Bucky said a cursory “good night” as they parted ways in the quarters, avoiding eye contact with Y/N as much as possible. As soon as he shut the door, he leaned against it breathing heavily. His mind was filled with Y/N’s face, looking up at the night sky, her face lit up in the magical light of the stars. And all he could think of was holding her and kissing her. All the hundreds of little things that they had shared came crashing down to his memory like a waterfall, drenching his insides. He felt a huge weight on his chest and his knees were going weak. He rushed to his bed and sat down, trying to calm his breathing. This was all so confusing. He liked Lisa; he liked being with her. Then what the hell was going on?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feed backs are welcome:)


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suck at writing about technology related stuff. Just a warning. Enjoy:)

Shuri took you both to the lab after a scrumptious breakfast in the palace. You were so excited to be finally inside the most advanced lab in the world. You looked at Bucky. He was fiddling with his phone. He had been so distracted since morning. What was up with him?  
“Consider this. You have a suspect who you have been trying to get your hands on. But, he or she is smart and has covered all their tracks. There’s like zero evidence. You have been on to this person for months and there has been no progress. What do you do?” asked Shuri, leading them to her table.  
You shrugged.  
“Wakanda has come for your rescue!”  
Shuri said dramatically and took out a small box. It was filled with what seemed like glitter.  
“These nano vibranium chips can scan a person’s brain. It can show you all the people this person comes into contact with. It can analyse the thought processes and show you what he’s possibly going to do next. If he’s planning to meet someone secretly in the park, it will tell you as soon as he starts planning it. It will be remotely connected to another chip in your computer. So basically whatever goes on inside the person’s brain will be at your fingertips.”  
“Wow!! That’s so cool!” you exclaimed.  
“The only problem is that it has to reach the person’s blood stream. You have to inject it or get the person to ingest it. Also, because of the huge, huge, huge ethical issues involved, my brother wants Tony or Cap to sign a contract, stating that this will be used only as a last measure and only when the index of suspicion or the stakes are really high.”  
“That sounds right. Getting inside a person’s head is not as fun as it sounds,” said Bucky, who did not seem much impressed with the device.  
Shuri gave him a sympathetic smile and said.  
“I will show you how to interpret the chip’s analyses. It is not easy to isolate the information we require.”  
Shuri gave a long and elaborate class on the analysis. As Shuri said, it was really hard to isolate specific data from the scans. After around 2-3 hours you both started getting a hang of it.  
“You two are doing really well. Shall we continue tomorrow?” Shuri asked as lunch time neared.  
“Sure. I want to go see the streets,” you said, looking at Bucky. He was already moving towards the exit and did not seem to have heard you.  
Saying goodbye to Shuri, you followed him out. He was already half way to the quarters.  
“You are so distracted,” you said as you joined him.  
“What?” he asked, looking up from his phone.  
“I said you seem so distracted,” you repeated.  
“It’s Lisa. We couldn’t talk yesterday. She’s texting from work.”  
“Oh. Ok.” you said, the familiar feeling weighing down your chest. You increased your pace. The sooner you were away from him, the better. You ran up the stairs to the guest quarters.  
“Hey, you said you wanted to see the streets?” Bucky asked, as he put his phone back in his jacket and joined you. So he had heard you, huh? You opened the door to the quarters and walked in.  
“No. I am just going to hang out in my room,” you were annoyed now. Why couldn’t he stop thinking about Lisa when you two were together? She was his girlfriend; of course, he was going to think about her. But, you were not in the mood to be reasonable.  
“Come on. You don’t want to see Wakanda?” Bucky suddenly stopped in his tracks and pulled your arm gently to make you face him. He was smiling down at you, his blue- grey eyes soft and warm. You felt your anger melting away. What wouldn’t you give to kiss him right then? Your heart beats were rising. It felt like you were not breathing.  
“Buck...”you whispered, mesmerised under his gaze. Your cheeks were heating up. You both stood looking at each other, his arms still on yours. You felt something shift between you. His eyes were turning dark with lust. Your eyes fell on to his lips; they looked so red and inviting. Bucky let out a sigh and in a heartbeat, he pushed you to the nearest wall, his lips hungrily taking in yours. He tasted exactly like you had imagined he would. He forced your mouth open with his tongue. You didn’t resist. Your tongues entangled in passion; tasting, kissing and teasing each other. He held you tight at your waist and pressed himself against you leaving no space in between. You shut down every other thought and just kissed him, like you had never kissed before. It felt like a little piece of heaven, a warm sunlit day, a sky filled with stars. You felt him getting hard and knew you were getting wet. How long have you waited for this? You didn’t want this to end. It felt like a dream from which you never wanted to wake up.  
Suddenly his phone rang and you both jumped, startled. Bucky pulled away from you. He was breathless, his lips red and glistening. There was an expression in his eyes that had you panicking. Was it regret? He tore his eyes away from yours and took out his phone. He walked to his room, without another word. You heard him say Lisa’s name as he attended the phone.  
It was over. You stood there, feeling cheated, fooled. For a few moments you thought you had him, that he was yours. And then he was gone, without so much as a backward glance. You got into your room and fell on your bed, tears rolling out uncontrollably. He liked you, he did- you knew that. Or was it just a heat of the moment thing? Was it because it felt like they were cut off from the rest of the world? Was it just a Wakanda thing? He is probably guilt tripping right now. He’d apologise and say it was a mistake. He’d say he was not thinking clearly. You wished he wouldn’t say that kissing you was a mistake. Even if nothing ever happened between you, you wished that your kiss with him was genuine and not a mistake.  
You cried your heart out, feeling stupid and angry and broken. When you were exhausted, you tried falling asleep; but, you couldn’t. You sat up and got dressed, deciding to go visit the streets. You looked at yourself in the mirror and drew in a deep breath to steady yourself. You were not going to waste your time on a guy. That was not who you were. You were in Wakanda and you were not going to let the trip go waste. You were putting on your shoes when you heard someone knocking. You opened the door, praying it was not Bucky.  
“Hey!” Shuri stood there, smiling widely.  
“Hi Shuri. I was about to go out,” you said, closing the door behind you.  
“I am free today. I will take you both outside for a tour,” said Shuri.  
Before you could protest, Shuri knocked at Bucky’s door. A dishevelled Bucky opened the door. He looked confusedly at Shuri and you. You suddenly felt sorry for him. He was probably in more of a turmoil than you were. You decided you’d make it easy for him. That was what you did. You couldn’t stand someone being uncomfortable with you; you had to put them at ease.  
“Shuri is here to take us on a tour,” you said. Bucky looked surprised that you had addressed him.  
“Oh! Ok,” he said, closing the room. He looked at you with a pained expression. You gave him a reassuring smile even when everything inside you felt broken. It was ok, Buck. You ignored your heart beating out of your chest and decided to enjoy Wakanda with Bucky and Shuri. It was gonna be hell!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feed backs are welcome:)


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to ToboldHornblowerOldTobyFinestTOLKIENWeed for their valuable input:)

It was nightfall by the time they returned to the palace, after roaming around and shopping at the market place. Y/N acted like nothing whatsoever had happened between them. Bucky couldn’t say if he was hurt or thankful for that. Was it just a heat of the moment thing for her? Had she forgotten about it already? Or was she just pretending everything was normal so as not to make things awkward between them? He didn’t know and he knew they were going to have to talk about it.  
Shuri left after seeing them to their quarters. And the moment she left, everything became awkward between them, like their buffer was gone. Y/N seemed nervous and Bucky felt equally nervous. She was rushing to get inside her room when Bucky asked.  
“So are we not going to talk about it?” he asked, his mouth going dry.  
“Not now, Bucky,” Y/N said, not making eye contact with him.  
“Good night, then,” Bucky said, as she disappeared into her room. He heard a muffled “good night, Buck” from behind the door.  
Bucky sighed and walked to his room. He lay on his bed and flipped through the channels for a long time. He was tired, but, he knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep. Even when he sat watching mind numbing TV all he could think of was the feel of Y/N’s soft lips, the way she tasted, the way she moaned when he tongued his way in, the feel of her body against his, her fingers in his hair. He was already getting hard just thinking about kissing her and he knew he craved for more, for more of Y/N. Bucky felt his head throbbing. He needed a drink. He was walking to the fridge to get a beer when he heard a knock. He checked the time. It was nearing midnight. Who the hell was that? Was it Y/N?  
“Hey! Can I come in?” Y/N stood there, in her pyjamas. Her eyes were red and she was slightly swaying.  
“Are you drunk?” Bucky asked.  
“Just a little bit.” Y/N pushed past Bucky and got into his room. She sat on the couch next to the bed.  
“So you don’t want a beer, right?” Bucky asked as he picked up a bottle from the fridge.  
“Nope!” Y/N replied, grinning widely. God! She looked really drunk.  
Bucky took his seat on the bed, facing Y/N. She was staring intently at him. Bucky swallowed, feeling nervous.  
“I am here to talk, Buck. Yep! Let’s talk. You wanted to talk, right? ” Y/N asked, taking a deep breath. “So…we kissed. That’s a first,” she continued, laughing nervously.  
Bucky did not feel like she was in the right state of mind to talk about anything.  
“Y/N, maybe you should go get some rest. Let’s talk tomorrow,” Bucky said, concerned.  
“Nope. Can’t sleep. All I can think of is your stupid lips, Bucky Barnes. Why did you do that?” she asked, pouting.  
Bucky felt his heartbeats rising.  
“Y/N, I…” he searched for words. Why did he do that?  
“It was a rhetorical question. You don’t have to answer that. You wanna know why I did that? Do you? Do you, Bucky Barnes? Because I am in love with you. I am so freaking in love with you and I have been for like forever.”  
Bucky sat wide eyed. He didn’t know what to say. In some deep corner of his heart he had hoped for this, fragmented and formless as that hope might be, and yet, he now felt like he had been caught unawares. He had thought maybe, just maybe she liked him. But, she was in love with him? He tried to say something but, Y/N lifted a finger to keep him silent.  
“I am not done, Bucky Barnes,” she continued. “You said you were not ready. You were not fucking ready to date or to fuck! That’s what you said, not me. It was you who said that, remember? And like two seconds after that you decided to go on a date with some random girl that the traitor Nat set up for you. I thought I was not mad at Nat, but, you know what, I think I kind of am. She is a freaking spy! She’s supposed to know I had feelings for you even when I said I just wanted to fuck you. And I missed my window. And you- you just went on dating the perfect Lisa and then yelling at me for avoiding you. You wanna know why I avoided you? Do you want to know why, Buck? Because I cannot stand being with you for even a second without breaking into a million pieces, I cannot breathe and I cannot think. I cannot stand you talking about Lisa. I cannot stand you looking at me like you want something more when you really don’t. I cannot stand your freaking blue eyes and your stupid hair. I cannot stand your cologne or the stupid way your nose scrunches when you smile. I cannot stand you kissing me like you mean it and then walk away without a word. I cannot stand anything about you. I just can’t! There you have your answer. That’s why I have been avoiding you.”  
Bucky felt overwhelmed by this sudden inflow of information. He just sat there, holding his beer tightly, staring at Y/N like she scared him.  
“You wanted to talk. Why are you not talking? Just tell me that kiss meant nothing to you. Just tell me you want to be with Lisa. Just tell me you don’t feel the same way about me. And I will be on my way,” Y/N said, getting up from the couch, glaring down at Bucky. She was like half his size and he still cowered under her gaze.  
“I…”he opened his mouth, to form words that were not really there.  
“Oh my God! You are a coward, Bucky Barnes!”  
And with that Y/N stormed out of the room, leaving a stunned Bucky alone. What the hell! Why the hell didn’t he say anything? Y/N just laid bare all her feelings and he just sat there not saying a word. He considered going after her. But, what was he going to say? He didn’t know yet. Could he be any more dumb? Throwing the beer bottle away, he groaned and fell down on his bed.

Bucky was waiting for Lisa in the small, cosy restaurant near her apartment. They used to eat there often and when Bucky had rung her up asking to meet her she had suggested they meet there. Contrary to his plan, Bucky had decided to come back as soon as their business in Wakanda was done while Y/N had decided to stay back for a few more days. Bucky had tried to talk to her, but, she was like always fleeing away from him. He barely saw her other than during their sessions in the lab and as soon as Shuri let them go, Y/N would disappear. He really didn’t know how she did that. He had texted her and knocked at her room a thousand times, but, she just wouldn’t budge. Man, was she stubborn! Giving their hide and seek a rest, Bucky had returned to New York yesterday.  
Bucky looked outside the window, his thoughts still in Wakanda. Y/N was in love with him and how stupid was he to not to even have a clue about it. Sure, there were some moments, but, he had tried not to read too much into it. But, now that he knew, he felt like an idiot. Y/N was the last person he would want to hurt. And he had done just that. He let out a sigh, feeling an emptiness in his chest. He was missing her so badly.  
Just then Lisa walked in. She smiled and waved at Bucky as she saw him. Bucky gave her a hug as she reached their table.  
“How was the trip back to Wakanda?” Lisa asked, after they had placed the orders.  
“It felt more like a business trip. So not much to say,” Bucky said, avoiding her eyes.  
“I missed you,” Lisa said gently placing her hand on his. Bucky drew his hand away in panic and got hold of his glass of water, downing it in a gulp.  
“Are you alright?” Lisa asked, concerned.  
“Yep. Just thirsty,” Bucky said, feeling stupid.  
Lisa kept talking about her week and how she found it boring without Bucky. All Bucky could think of was how he ruined all that time he had with Y/N, alone in Wakanda, how much he missed her, how he wanted to kiss her again, kiss her senseless. He had to get this out. Now.  
“Lisa, I have something to tell you,” Bucky said.  
Lisa’s eye brows furrowed. Bucky could say she was tensing up. When she remained silent, he continued.  
“I… I think…I like someone else. I know this is not fair to you and I am so sorry. But, it’s not fair either to continue this when I have feelings for someone else,” Bucky paused, trying to gauge Lisa’s reaction. She had an almost stoic expression on her face now.  
“Is it Y/N?” she asked. Bucky was surprised she guessed so fast. He nodded.  
“Well, I should have guessed. You were always gushing about her,” Lisa said, slowly sipping her drink.  
“I am so sorry, Lisa. I didn’t know. It all came crashing down now. I am really sorry.” Bucky apologised again.  
They remained silent for a while, Bucky shooting nervous glances at Lisa now and then.  
“It’s ok, Bucky. Things like this happen. I really liked you and it kinda hurts. But, knowing me, I think I will live through this. And thank you for being honest with me,” Lisa said, after a while.  
“And thank you so much for not yelling at me,” Bucky said.  
“We had not reached that stage, Bucky. So...” Lisa said with a smile.  
They finished their dinner and parted ways amicably. It had gone better than he could have hoped for. So here he was. Now he could answer Y/N the way she deserved. The confusion and craziness in his brain had cleared now and he saw what he wanted to see, very clearly. He wanted so badly to kiss her, to touch her. He wanted to hold her and never let her go. He wanted so badly to wake up next to her and to have breakfast together, laughing at silly jokes and feeding each other. He wanted to go on adventures with her and he wanted to go grocery shopping with her. He wanted to cuddle with her for hours and make love to her day and night. He just wanted to be with her, all day, every day. He knew that he had lied to Lisa when he said he liked someone- he did not like Y/N; he was crazily in love with her. He was just so stupid to not have seen it until then.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a really hard chapter to write. I kind of suck at writing smut. It's also a bit longer than usual because I wanted to give them time to be really really happy.I hope it's not so bad!

You and Shuri were sitting on the riverside, your feet in the water. You were taking selfies with the river in the background when you heard a familiar “hi” from behind that sent your heart racing. What the hell was he doing here now? Why is he back?  
“Hi Bucky! You’re back!” Shuri jumped up to greet him.  
You focused on your phone, not even sparing a glance in his direction. You felt both of their gazes on you.  
“Oh! I just remembered. I have a thing. I have to go,” Shuri said, starting to walk.  
“Shuri! What thing?” you shouted at her. You knew she didn’t have a thing.  
“This thing…you don’t know. Bye! Enjoy!” Shuri waved and disappeared into the woods.  
You glared after her. Bucky started to laugh.  
“Oh God! I love Shuri,” he said, his hand on his chest.  
“Why are you here?” you asked, getting up.  
“Y/N, do you have any idea how difficult it has been to get hold of you lately?” Bucky asked, his voice serious. He was wearing a black t-shirt and deep blue jeans, his muscles straining against the fabric of the tee. You couldn’t help thinking how good he looked then. His grey-blue eyes were soft and warm as he looked at you. Your thoughts reeled back to the kiss, your first kiss. God knows how many times you had thought about it in the past few days even though you were mad at him. He licked his lips, as if knowing what you were thinking. A small smile formed at his lips.  
You glared at him and started to walk towards the falls. Shuri and you had planned to go upstream, closer towards the falls. She had said there was kind of a pool there where you could take a swim. But, now you were walking just to get away from Bucky.  
“Where are you going?” Bucky asked, joining you.  
You didn’t answer and just continued to walk. You tried to ignore the smell of his cologne filling your nostrils. This guy was just so annoying!  
“I hope you remember all the things you said that night….when you were drunk,” Bucky said, apprehensively.  
You looked up to glare at him.  
“I have a good memory, Bucky Barnes,” you said.  
“Ok. Good,” he said, nodding.  
You started walking faster, nervous where this conversation was headed.  
“Want to race?” Bucky asked, starting to run. When you didn’t answer, he shrugged and sprinted away. You couldn’t help smiling, watching the wind sweep his hair away and the sight of that perfect ass. You rolled your eyes and walked on. How dare he ask if you remembered what you said? You remembered each and every word in perfect detail even though you were drunk. And you remembered clearly that he had just sat there, without opening his mouth. You were mad at him; but, he had tried to talk to you like a thousand times and your stubborn ass had just snubbed him. What was he going to say now? That he doesn’t feel that way about you? That he loved Lisa? But, he seemed so upbeat for someone who was about to have an awkward conversation. Perhaps, he had something else to tell you, something you didn’t want to let yourself hope. Don’t think about it, Y/N! Not now. You should perhaps turn around and walk away and yet here you were.  
“There it is!” you heard Bucky exclaiming. It was a bit of a steep climb and you were panting by the time you joined him. The waterfalls were even more magnificent up close. There indeed was a large pool and Bucky was already getting out of his clothes.  
“Whoaa! What are you doing?”  
You knew he was going to swim; but, you didn’t think you could handle a naked Bucky then.  
“What?! I am going in.” He now stood only in his boxers and smiling widely at you, he dived right into the cold water. If there was anything better than naked Bucky, it was wet Bucky. You watched the water glistening on his muscular body and felt the heat pool between your legs. Was he doing this on purpose?  
“Aren’t you coming?” he asked, splashing water in your direction.  
You really, really wanted to. That was why you were here in the first place. The clear blue water looked so inviting. But, swimming with almost-naked Bucky was not very good for your state of mind. Finally the water won and throwing all caution to the wind, you stripped down to your bra and panty. You were not going to let him get in the way of your fun! You had not packed a swim suit as you and Shuri had set about on a mindless wandering till you reached the falls. You felt his eyes on you as you slowly made your way into the water. You tried not to look in his direction and started to swim as if you were alone. Thankfully, the pool was large enough for you to keep your distance from him. You were glad that you decided to dive in. The water was so cool and pleasant. It felt really good.  
After a while you leaned back on a rock to rest, half of your body still in water. Bucky was still swimming around and he stopped when he saw you standing there. He climbed on a rock on the opposite side and sat there watching you. You tried hard not to stare at his crotch which was very much projecting out through his wet boxers. You looked everywhere, but, at him and you knew he was just staring at you. And when his gaze on you became too much to bear you snapped.  
“What??!!”  
“I broke up with Lisa,” Bucky said, taking you by surprise.  
“What?! Why?!!”  
“Why? That’s a good question.” Bucky stood up and without another word, he dived disappearing under the water. You could clearly see him moving towards you. What was he doing? Did he think he was sneaking upon you when the water was this crystal clear? You suppressed a smile. He reappeared right in front of you, your bodies inches away from each other.  
“You wanna know why?” he leaned in closer and whispered in your ears. His breath on your wet skin made the hairs stand up on your back.  
“Because I am in love with you,” he said, placing a gentle kiss on your shoulder. Your breath hitched. What did he just say?! You suppressed a moan and wriggled away from him. He was not going to have it so fast. He leaned back to look you in your eyes.  
“Y/N, I am sorry it took so long. I am sorry for hurting you. I was such a huge mess and I didn’t realise I had feelings for you. I know I said I wasn’t ready. But, when Nat and Steve asked me if I wanted a date for Tony’s party, I just thought I’d test the waters. I had no plans of seeing Lisa again. But, it turned out to be good and Lisa was pretty great and-“  
Bucky stopped as you narrowed your eyes. He shook his head before continuing.  
“Ok. Perhaps we should not talk about that. It’s just so many things happened in between and everything got so confusing and messy. I didn’t answer you then because it was all too much to process and I was with another person. I am so sorry I acted like an idiot. I would never ever hurt you, Y/N. You are like the most important person in my life.”  
“More than Steve?” you asked, feigning seriousness. You were not going to make it easy for him even though you knew it was not his fault either.  
“Yes. More than Steve,” he said, nodding earnestly. He thought you were serious. God! He looked so fucking cute! You felt your anger melting away.  
“Say it again, then,”  
“Say what? That…that I love you?” he asked. You nodded.  
“I love you, Y/N. I love you more than I have ever loved anyone. Truly,” he said, his puppy eyes starting to show.  
You couldn’t take it anymore. You threw your arms around his neck and kissed him. He gasped, surprised; but, then held you by your waist and kissed you back.  
“I love you too, Buck,” you said as you broke for air.  
He smiled and bit your lips gently making you moan. You felt his hands move from your waist to your ass. He pulled you towards him, pressing your crotch against his. He kissed you hungrily, like there was no tomorrow.  
You started moving your hips against him, feeling his growing erection against yours, the friction driving you crazy. His lips broke away from yours and moved down to your neck. He sucked at your skin there making you dig your fingers deep into his back. You knew it was going to leave a mark. He gently slipped your bra from your shoulders and pulled them down to expose your breasts. He bit them and licked them while his metal arm slowly pulled down your panty to your thighs.  
“Are you wet for me, doll?” he asked as he gently stroked your clit with his fingers. You felt a shiver run down your spine. He inserted two of his metal fingers inside you and started thrusting them. Your body arched in pleasure.  
“Buck, I want you…inside me,” you gasped.  
“Not so fast, doll.”  
He broke away from you and gently lifted you in his arms. He walked to the shore and laid you down. He lay on top of you and kissed you hard. You felt your bra and panties now being ripped away. You lay there naked as he moved down, kissing your neck, your breasts, your belly. Then he moved further down, making your toes curl in pleasure. He kissed you on your mound and went down to taste you. His tongue stroked your clit relentlessly, while his hands played at your breasts. You cried out in pleasure. This was torture! You couldn’t take it anymore.  
“Bucky…please...”  
He lifted his head. His eyes were dark with lust. He wanted you as much as you did. He took off his boxers and came back to taste your lips again. You felt his hardened penis rub against your clit. You wrapped your legs around him. Looking you in your eyes, he entered you. He took you slowly, his eyes searching your face for any discomfort. You moaned, praying that nobody would come down now to the falls. Slowly he started increasing his pace. God! It felt so good, you felt so full. He thrust in harder. You kept moaning his name, not caring now if anyone would hear. The water crashing down would hopefully muffle your voice.  
“You are so beautiful. Come for me, baby.”  
He went harder and harder, sending pulses of pleasure down your body. And you came, screaming his name. And he soon followed, his hot come filling you.  
“Y/N!” he whispered, as he fell on your body, spent.  
He moved away after a few seconds so as not to suffocate you and lay down by your side. You both took some time to calm yourselves down.  
“So…?’’ you asked turning to look at him after a few minutes.  
“So…?”  
“So, are we a couple now?” you asked.  
“If that’s what you want. Don’t you want us to be?” Bucky asked, a sudden concern in his voice.  
Of course, you wanted them to be. You had thrown the “no strings attached” thing out of the window so long ago. You wanted Bucky more than anything. But, there were things Bucky didn’t know yet.  
“Bucky, there are things you don’t know about me,” you said, your voice low.  
“Is it about your father?” he asked, his eyes kind.  
“You know?”  
“Yes. I have read your file. I have done worse things, Y/N. And I think we deserve to move past all of that. We deserve to be happy, don’t you think?” He turned towards you and gently tucked away a few strands of hair behind your ear. That small gesture of affection had you screaming inside.  
“Yes. We do,” you said, relieved. You had never really thought Bucky would hate you for what you did. But, you felt like a weight had been lifted off from your heart.  
“Aren’t you feeling cold?” Bucky asked, getting up. You both were wet from the water and stark naked. But, you didn’t want to leave. Not yet.  
“Yeah. A little. But, I don’t want to go,” you protested.  
“Yeah? Why is that?” asked Bucky, extending his hand to pull you up, a wicked smile on his lips.  
You took his hand and pulled yourself up. Bucky stood holding you by your waist, his hot breath warm on your face.  
“Just…just want to be alone with you for a little bit more,” you said, the admittance causing the heat to rise up on your cheek. Were you blushing now? You just had full-fledged sex with the guy!  
“We have the guest quarters all by ourselves, right?” Bucky asked, gently nipping your lower lip.  
“Hmm...” you hummed, already feeling yourself turned on again.  
“Maybe we’ll have a shower together. And I can kiss you in places I might have missed,” Bucky continued, his lips hovering over yours.  
You closed your eyes and leaned on to him.  
“I will kiss you down there. I know you like that. The sounds you make for me, Y/N…do you know that you drive me crazy? We have all the time in the world, doll,” he sighed, his lips now grazing down your neck.  
“Buck,” you whispered.  
“And do you know how much I love it when you call me that?” he asked. You didn’t really know that. You pulled back, an amused smile on your face.  
“Really? You never told me that,” you said.  
“Yes. I like it when you call me Buck. Or Bucky Barnes, when you are mad!” he said, chuckling.  
“I have been mad at you like one time, Buck,” you said, frowning. “And with good reason. You were an idiot.”  
“Fair enough,” Bucky shrugged. “Shall we go back then?”  
Your bra and panty were basically destroyed. So you just pulled on the t-shirt and jeans. You couldn’t help smiling as you pushed the destroyed inners into your pockets. Bucky had a smirk on his face as he watched you get dressed, like he was proud he had torn away your inners.  
“I am going to kiss that smirk off your face, Bucky Barnes!” you said, feigning annoyance.  
“I can’t wait,” he said, as he pulled you towards him and kissed you on your forehead. You were so overwhelmed when he did that and you just stared at him when he pulled back.  
“What?” he asked, smiling.  
“Nothing. Let’s go,” you said, starting to walk, his hand in yours.

You reached the quarters at around nine after the dinner at the palace. Shuri had kept looking at you two with a knowing smile but, had thankfully refrained from making any comment. Bucky switched on the TV as you both reached your room. You excused yourself to get changed and brush your teeth. And it was then when you stood in front of the mirror that you realised that probably the whole of Wakanda and not just Shuri, knew that you two had sex. You had two large hickeys, one on either side of your neck. You could not help smiling, seeing yourself marked by Bucky Barnes. You were with Bucky freaking Barnes and that thought made you feel giddy with happiness.  
When you returned from the bathroom, Bucky was on the bed watching TV. You climbed on to the bed beside him. He was already stripped down to his boxers and smiled insanely when he saw you.  
“Hey, gorgeous,” he said, kissing you on the lips. He switched off the TV, giving you his undivided attention.  
You kissed him back and in a second you were turned on. You got on top of him and straddled him, deepening the kiss. His hands roamed beneath your t shirt and found your breasts. He caressed them for a while before he took off your t shirt. He drew circles on your breasts as you sat on his lap, kissing his mouth. You were not wearing any underwear and you started moving your hips against his crotch, making your wetness seep through his boxers. He groaned and after gently lifting you up, he pulled down his boxers. He eyed you hungrily and took your breasts into his mouth.  
You pulled him away by his hair and moved back. He looked at you, his eyes narrowed. You bent down and gently stroked his hardened penis with your tongue. He gasped.  
“You like that, baby?” you asked, continuing to stroke him gently. He pulled at the sheets and hummed.  
You took the whole of his length in your mouth, slowly swallowing it while your tongue continued to slick it up. You started moving your head, your lips pursed around his shaft, your tongue flicking his slit every now and then. Bucky arched his body, one hand in your hair, the other on the headboard. You increased your pace.  
“Y/N!” Bucky cried out. “I am gonna come.”  
You just hummed and continued to pleasure him. In a few seconds he came, his hot come going down your throat. You licked him clean, leaving not even a drop. You sat up, satisfied.  
“Come here,” Bucky said, extending his arms towards you.  
You went back to him, your lips crashing against his. He started stroking your clit, his mouth still on yours. He moved in circles along its length and slowly let in two of his fingers inside you. He stroked you, until he found your spot, which had you tightening your grip on him and biting his lips in pleasure. With his thumb on your clit and two fingers inside you, he stroked you until he had you coming, shuddering and screaming his name.  
“You like that, baby?” he asked, teasing you back.  
“Very much,” you said, smiling. He pulled you into a deep kiss.  
As you cuddled against Bucky to sleep, you heard you heart beating out so loud you wondered if Bucky could hear it. He probably could, he was a super soldier anyway. You didn’t think a person could be this happy. You couldn’t stop smiling. You were in love and it was the best feeling ever. You had had your share of trials and tribulations; but, now it was all over and you were with Bucky. You were going to make up for all the lost time. You heard his light snore and you closed your eyes, still smiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And always use protection. Don't be like these idiots!:D


	16. EPILOGUE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Iam not sure if Wakanda takes in foreigners. But, I have always, always wanted Bucky to have a happy, retired life in Wakanda. So, here it is!

"Are you sure you want to do this?” Bucky asked again.  
“Yes! And don’t ask me again!” you said, placing your neatly folded dresses in the bag.  
“You are leaving so much behind. The superhero life, the action, your friends here….” Bucky sat on the bed facing you.  
They were leaving for Wakanda, like forever. They had decided it together and he knew she was in for it hundred percent. But, now that the time had come for them to leave, Bucky couldn’t help feeling he was asking too much of Y/N.  
“Buck, it’s not like we are cutting off all the ties here. We’ll come visit and I am really planning to do something with Shuri. I won’t miss out on the action. And I am going to spend my time figuring out where my mother has disappeared with my sister. Plus, I can’t wait to see you in action on the goat farm,” you said, with a goofy smile.  
Bucky chuckled. He was done with the superhero life, he knew that. He just wanted some peace and quiet. When he told Steve about their decision, he had accepted it without any questions. He was kind of dismayed too that he had dragged Bucky to the tower when he had found peace in Wakanda.  
“I am sorry, Buck. I didn’t even ask you if you wanted to come to the tower in the first place,” he said, regret in his voice.  
“It’s ok, Steve. I wouldn’t have met Y/N otherwise. And we will both be here whenever you need us.”  
Y/N’s decision to leave was met with way more protests, especially from Nat and Loki. But, they had all finally given them their blessings after Y/N assured them of monthly visits; also, T’challa assured that Loki would get clearance in Wakanda.  
“I am all packed,” Y/N said, zipping up her luggage.  
“I’ll go get Milo and Rusty.” Bucky got up to get the dogs.  
“I’ll come with you.”  
They both walked to the kennels, holding hands. Bucky had never thought he would feel so normal again. Actually, he was better than normal. The ghosts were still there; but, facing them was a lot easier with Y/N by his side. She was talking about their plans after reaching Wakanda. But, Bucky was not listening. He was taking in her face, her eyes lit with excitement. He felt his heart filling up with warmth and love. He felt safe and content, knowing with absolute certainty that this person would be there for him, no matter what. And he promised himself that he was going to be with her too, till the end of the line.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, my readers, for your love... You have all been so kind to me:) I hope you all like this ending (Sorry I couldn't resist using the "till the end of the line" line:) )

**Author's Note:**

> Feed backs are welcome!!!


End file.
